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MANY FAMOUS SPORT PLAYERS ADVERTISE SPORTS PRODUCTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DIS ADVANTAGES?

MANY FAMOUS SPORT PLAYERS ADVERTISE SPORTS PRODUCTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DIS ADVANTAGES? XyA6O
Using sport celebrities to promote sport companies' products is very popular, these days. I believe that advertising sports items by sportmen would be beneficial. On one hand, pursuading people to buy sport goods might have some drawbacks. To begin with, if these products did not fulfill the standard quality, goods advertiser would be responsible for that, and might put themselves in danger of the public's critism; however, famous celebrities usually would not like to advertise for companies whose products are not highly-qualified. Additionally, sport players often have a great influence on the youth, therefore their advertisement usually result in this group temptation. In other words, youngsters might put their families under a financial pressure to buy such expensive products like Nike, Addidas, or Jordan which are not affordable for all parents, and consequently could result in some conflicts in families. On the other hand, advertising sports brands have some benefits as well. First, this activity could be a potential source of income for famous athlets to boost their revenue, particularly when a sportman gets older and cannot continue his sport activities in a high level like before, he can use his name and fame to earn money, fore xample, a footballist who can play just for a limited time, can consider advertisement as a next job. Moreover, when sport athlets sconfirms the quality of certain products through their advertisement, not only would their endorsement increase companies' sales, but also assist individuals in making easier decisions on a variety of given choices. To elaborate, if a runner approved the quality of Addidas shoes, other runners would be encouraged to pay for this brand more confidently. In conclusion, using sport celebrities as advertisers who confirm sport sproducts, not only boost their revenue, but also improve sport companies' sales and assist youngsters to choose their options easier.
Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
celebrities to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular, these days. I believe that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
items by
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportmen
would be beneficial.

On one hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pursuading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
did not fulfill the standard quality,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
advertiser would be responsible for that, and might put themselves in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of the public's
Possible spelling mistake found.
critism
;
however
,
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
usually
would not like to advertise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not
highly
-qualified.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a great influence on the youth,
therefore
their advertisement
usually
result in this group temptation.
In other words
, youngsters might put their families under a financial pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like Nike,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Addidas
, or Jordan which are not affordable for all parents, and
consequently
could result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts in families.

On the other hand
, advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
brands have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
as well
.
First
, this activity could be a potential source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
athlets
to boost their revenue,
particularly
when a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportman
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
older and cannot continue his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities in a high level like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
his name and fame to earn money,
Possible spelling mistake found.
fore xample
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
footballist
who can play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for a limited time, can consider advertisement as a
next
job.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
Possible spelling mistake found.
athlets
Possible spelling mistake found.
sconfirms
the quality of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through their advertisement, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would their endorsement increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' sales,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assist individuals in making easier decisions on a variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
choices. To elaborate, if a runner approved the quality of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Addidas
shoes, other runners would
be encouraged
to pay for this brand more
confidently
.

In conclusion
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
celebrities as advertisers who confirm
Possible spelling mistake found.
sport sproducts
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boost their revenue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' sales and assist youngsters to choose their options easier.
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IELTS essay MANY FAMOUS SPORT PLAYERS ADVERTISE SPORTS PRODUCTS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DIS ADVANTAGES?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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