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Some people believe that plastic money would be replace paper money and coins. Do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that plastic money would be replace paper money and coins. KVAJ6
During this era, development in technology of making payment by using various ways. It is asserted by some people that credit and debit cards would take place use of traditional form or method of payment. I disagree with the given notion and reasons to strengthen my view point put forth in subsequent paragraphs. To begin with it is bolster by some individuals that card payments easily made as well as fast. In fact no need to stand in longer queues and saving are time. Neverthless it does not hold true in all situation because some times there is no fast network connection. It is generally seen that payment process cannot sucessful due to internet issues. Yet another reason to support my stance is that online transaction not suitable for senior citizens because they do not know how to operate this. To be elaborate, some time old people forget pincode of their card. For instance a recent survey conducted by students of economics at University of Florida revealed that only 20%aged people use cards to make online payment. Consequently olders are facing problem to payment. To fortifiy further, this is not suitable for small scale business. Indeed small business cannot afford a online banking system. To illustrate, if they adopt online banking then thay have to pay tax it is a burden for small organisation. Hence small business having lots of problems in their financial situation. To conclude, although most of the people use card for saving there time, the senior citizens and small business cannot taking this because they may face risk.
During this era, development in technology of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
by using various ways. It
is asserted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that credit and debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
would take place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of traditional form or method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and reasons to strengthen my view point put forth in subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with it is
Consider using a past participle here: "bolstered".
bolster
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payments
easily
made
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
. In fact no need to stand in longer queues and saving are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Neverthless
it does not hold true in all situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
network connection. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
process cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucessful
due to internet issues.

Yet
another reason to support my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
transaction not suitable for senior citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know how to operate this. To be elaborate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
forget
Possible spelling mistake found.
pincode
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
.
For instance
a recent survey conducted by students of economics at University of Florida revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20%aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
payment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
Possible spelling mistake found.
olders
are facing problem to payment.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
fortifiy
further
, this is not suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
cannot afford
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
banking system. To illustrate, if they adopt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
banking then
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay tax it is a burden for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
having lots of problems in their financial situation.

To conclude
, although most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
for saving there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the senior citizens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "take"
taking
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that plastic money would be replace paper money and coins.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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