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What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? 0pq0Q
Nowadays, wild animals species are becoming extinct due to many hunting spcies and the people need to take a number of steps to address this problem. On the one hand, the mein reason for significant increase in extintion of animals is diforestation. In other words, in tha many country's, which are due to population growth, governments representative are also urbonizing remote areas and this leads to the extinction of other forests. Than that most animals are left homeless. Futhermore people are hunting many large and endangered animals in order to satisfy their oppetites and increase their wealth. For example thousands of individulas are arrested for poaching in United States each year. Howaver experts believe that only between one and five percent of poarching are cought. On the other hand, it can be solve when notion reduce deforestation and build national parks and breeding farms in remote areas of the country. In adition the governments needs to organize a number of activities with the population in order to protect wild animals and combat poaching. In conclusion, hunting in large quantities and destroying the habitats of animals are causing some species to fade away. However, when governments and individuals of society take some steps, they can reverse this trend.
Nowadays, wild
animals
species are becoming extinct due to
many
hunting
spcies
and the
people
need to take a number of steps to address this problem.

On the one hand, the
mein
reason for significant increase in
extintion
of
animals
is
diforestation
.
In other words
, in
tha
many
country's
, which are due to population growth,
governments
representative are
also
urbonizing
remote areas and this leads to the extinction of other forests.
Than
that most
animals
are
left
homeless.
Futhermore
people
are hunting
many
large and endangered
animals
in order to satisfy their
oppetites
and increase their wealth.
For example
thousands of
individulas
are arrested
for poaching
in United States
each year.
Howaver
experts believe that
only
between one and five percent of
poarching
are
cought
.

On the other hand
, it can be
solve
when notion
reduce
deforestation and build national parks and breeding farms in remote areas of the country. In
adition
the
governments
needs to organize a number of activities with the population in order to protect wild
animals
and combat poaching.

In conclusion
, hunting in large quantities and destroying the habitats of
animals
are causing
some
species to fade away.
However
, when
governments
and individuals of society take
some
steps, they can reverse this trend.
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IELTS essay What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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