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writing a story memorable time

writing a story memorable time 1n32W
It was a rainy Tuesday evening when I was having dinner with my family. all of sudden, there was an email to me from a strange address which I had never seen before. Then, I turned on my portable computer to see the file more easily and to see what it was. although I made a lot of effort to either download the file or enter the link given by the sender, I couldn’t see anything as both of them informed that they weren’t invalid. Afterwards, I began to read the adress thoroughly to cast my mind back to any important things and suddenly, julie gave me a call and said in excitement. ” Hey, I had passed the entry test! ”. had it not been for that, I couldn’t realize it was my score. Because I couldn’t open the letter and I did the test quite badly, I started to have butterflies in my stomach. I tried to make attempt to watch my score but I didn’t succeed owing to the WIFi, which means afterwards I had to wait for it. thankfully, after a while, it worked again and I jumped for joy when having seen that I could attend my dream school. so happy I was that I’ll never forget the day in which I got both nervousness and happiness when seeing my mark.
It was a rainy Tuesday evening when I was having dinner with my family.
Consider using "all of a sudden" or "all of the sudden".
all of sudden
, there was an email to me from a strange address which I had never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Then, I turned on my portable computer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the file more
easily
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
what it was.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
I made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort to either download the file or enter the link
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the sender, I couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
anything as both of them informed that they weren’t invalid. Afterwards, I began to read the
Possible spelling mistake found.
adress
thoroughly
to cast my mind back to any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things and
suddenly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
julie
gave me a call and said in excitement. ” Hey, I had passed the entry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
! ”.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
had
it not been for that, I couldn’t realize it was my score.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
I couldn’t open the letter and I did the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
quite
badly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to have butterflies in my stomach. I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
my score
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I didn’t succeed owing to the
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WIFi
, which means afterwards I had to wait for it.
thankfully
, after a while, it worked again and I jumped for joy when having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that I could attend my dream school.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
happy I was that I’ll never forget the day in which I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
both nervousness and happiness when seeing my mark.
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IELTS essay writing a story memorable time

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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