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What are the problem of increasing city size? What is the solution? v.1

What are the problem of increasing city size? What is the solution? v. 1
In many parts of the world, cities are expanding consistently. This alarming rise has yielded a number of issues will be discussed along with a suggested solution. The influx of migrants from rural to urban has produced squatters or shanty towns in metropolises which are afflicted by pollution and scarcity of resources. Perhaps one of the main problems is pollution. Air pollution has reached a significant rate from the increased use of fossil fuels by various means of the transport system and that has caused serious respiratory health diseases for city dwellers. For example, a recent study of Cairo university demonstrated that urban citizens suffer from asthma or other lung diseases than their rural counterparts. Moreover, the overuse of utilities has caused a shortage of water and electricity resources and infrastructure can not cope with the rate of population. As a consequence, overpopulation in a small area would not only cause endemic pollution-related diseases, but resources will also run out. For an effective remedy for the ever-increase city, expansion can be done through rehousing scheme. Governments should encourage businessmen to carry out a project for cities with facilities and that will decrease the load on the primary cities. New Cairo, for instance, is a new city located on the outskirts of Cairo, has allocated many of the city dwellers and they even created new job opportunities. Therefore, if authorities encouraged horizontal expansion, the quality of living will be enhanced. In conclusion, urban growth can cause significant problems such as pollution and depletion of resources. It is suggested that the government should enhance and encourage people to live in more remote areas in an attempt to decrease the load on the main cities.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are expanding
consistently
. This alarming rise has yielded a number of issues will
be discussed
along with a suggested solution.

The influx of migrants from rural to urban has produced squatters or shanty towns in metropolises which
are afflicted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and scarcity of resources. Perhaps one of the main problems is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has reached a significant rate from the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels by various means of the transport system and that has caused serious respiratory health diseases for city dwellers.
For example
, a recent study of Cairo university demonstrated that urban citizens suffer from asthma or other lung diseases than their rural counterparts.
Moreover
, the overuse of utilities has caused a shortage of water and electricity resources and infrastructure can not cope with the rate of population. As a consequence, overpopulation in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cause endemic pollution-related diseases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
resources will
also
run out.

For an effective remedy for the ever-increase city, expansion can
be done
through rehousing scheme.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should encourage businessmen to carry out a project for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
with facilities and that will decrease the load on the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. New Cairo,
for instance
, is a new city located on the outskirts of Cairo, has allocated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the city
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dwellers and
they even created new job opportunities.
Therefore
, if authorities encouraged horizontal expansion, the quality of living will
be enhanced
.

In conclusion
, urban growth can cause significant problems such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and depletion of resources. It
is suggested
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should enhance and encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in more remote areas in an attempt to decrease the load on the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay What are the problem of increasing city size? What is the solution? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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