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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 143 v.33

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 143 v. 33
It is important to consider the economic values of museums in our society. While some collect charges for entry, others do not. I agree that the benefits of imposing fees to allow access into museums outweigh their drawbacks. The reasons for this will be discussed. One of the principal advantages of collecting charges before you can gain entrance into a museum is that the money collected serves as a source of revenue for the government. This is because they are tourist centres and therefore forms part of the economy of a nation. For instance, art galleries serve as exhibition centres where people can visit to look at ancient and modern exhibits. Furthermore, money generated is often used to sustain the centres. To illustrate this point, if the centre is not maintained, it will not be attractive for tourist. One of the main disadvantages of not accepting charges to enter an art gallery is that the place with become overcrowded. As a result, the facility will be stressed and eventually break down. However, this argument is weak because taking levies for admission will ensure that there is enough money, some of which will be set aside for maintaining the place. For example, a certain amount of money will be used regularly to upgrade the facilities. In conclusion, due to the drawbacks of allowing free access to museums such as overcrowding and lack of maintenance due to funds, in my view, I believe the benefits of accepting levies such as improved facilities and sources of revenue for government outweigh the disadvantages.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider the economic values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
in our society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
collect charges for entry, others do not. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the benefits of imposing fees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
access into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
outweigh their drawbacks. The reasons for this will
be discussed
.

One of the principal advantages of collecting charges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you can gain entrance into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
collected serves as a source of revenue for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are tourist
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and
therefore
forms part of the economy of a nation.
For instance
, art galleries serve as exhibition
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can visit to look at ancient and modern exhibits.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
generated is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sustain the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. To illustrate this point, if the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is not maintained, it will not be attractive for tourist.

One of the main disadvantages of not accepting charges to enter an art gallery is that the place with become overcrowded.
As a result
, the facility will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
eventually
break down.
However
, this argument is weak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
taking levies for admission will ensure that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which will
be set
aside for maintaining the place.
For example
, a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
regularly
to upgrade the facilities.

In conclusion
, due to the drawbacks of allowing free access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
such as overcrowding and lack of maintenance due to funds, in my view, I believe the benefits of accepting levies such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
facilities and sources of revenue for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
outweigh the disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? v. 143 v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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