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What are the positive and negative of electronic devices such as computer and mobile phone and how we can solve it

What are the positive and negative of electronic devices such as computer and mobile phone and how we can solve it gYX17
In this modern era, due to the advancement of the technology more and more people spend their leisure time on internet by using different kinds of apps which are very common these days such as Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp these are the most popular nowadays. Due to this there are plethora of positives as well as several negatives cannot be neglected. On the one hand, technologies has advanced from last few years, due to the advancement of the technology more work is done by electronic gadgets such as computer mobile phone extractor these gadgets are very common these days. Firstly, by using computer people can store more datas in small time it is very easy way to communicate with each other. Aso, it can provided several benefit if a person want to gain knowledge about anything so they can just click a button and find a unique ideas what they want to know. Mobile phones are the good source of communicates with each other all around the world. On the other hand, there are several negative as well which cannot be neglected nowadays. Because if people spend their more time on internet so as a result, it can directly affect on their health and also create more help problem which will not good for health as well as people who spend their most of the time on internet. These are the most common affects of the electronic devices. In conclusion, there are too many advantages as well as disadvantages.
In this modern era, due to the advancement of the technology more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on internet by using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of apps which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common these days such as Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp these are the most popular nowadays. Due to this there are plethora of positives as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as several negatives cannot
be neglected
. On the one hand, technologies has advanced from last few years, due to the advancement of the technology more work
is done
by electronic gadgets such as computer mobile phone extractor these gadgets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common these days.
Firstly
, by using computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can store more
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy way to communicate with each other.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aso
, it can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "provide"
provided
Possible agreement error. The noun benefit seems to be countable; consider using: "several benefits".
several benefit
if a person want to gain knowledge about anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
click a button and find a unique
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "idea"?
ideas
what they want to know. Mobile phones are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of communicates with each other all around the world.
On the other hand
, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
which cannot
be neglected
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as a result
, it can
directly
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their health and
also
create more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
problem which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend their most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on internet. These are the most common affects of the electronic devices.
In conclusion
, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as disadvantages.

IELTS essay What are the positive and negative of electronic devices such as computer and mobile phone and how we can solve it

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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