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what are the main disadvantages of globalization?

what are the main disadvantages of globalization? xPP16
Globalization has some advantages and disadvantages. The advantages points are more viable and can be a pivotal factor in our lives. This can make the world a better place if it passes the main standards in our life. For example do not change our customs and traditions and also respect other's behavior and modify every thing toward its positive consequences. Firstly we should consider about the essential changes we can see in our life. For example it can have a strong and long-term effects on travel and communications. That is why we can see obviously the tourism centers and immigration offices are more crowded than before. This can have a exact impact on Financial and economy of tourism countries. Secondly, the most beneficial factors for citizen's of countries and also tourist are more modernity and fast development of technology. Although adverse effects are undeniable, it worth. Lastly, Globalization can have a strong effects on large companies and bisinuses to sell their products all around the world, furthermore expand their markets in different places as a chain market. In conclusion, every changes and also globalization have numerues beneficial factors and adverse aspects but also the key points are positive and it's viable effects are prosprose
Globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages. The advantages points are more viable and can be a pivotal factor in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world a better place if it passes the main standards in our life.
For example
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our customs and traditions and
also
respect other's behavior and modify every thing toward its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences.

Firstly
we should
Did you mean simply "consider the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about the
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in our life. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, it".
example it
can have a strong and long-term effects on travel and communications.
That is
why we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
obviously
the tourism centers and immigration offices are more crowded than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This can have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
exact impact on Financial and economy of tourism countries.
Secondly
, the most beneficial factors for citizen's of countries and
also
tourist are more modernity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development of technology. Although adverse effects are undeniable,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
worth.
Lastly
, Globalization can have a strong
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "effect"?
effects
on large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bisinuses
to sell their products all around the world,
furthermore
expand their markets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places as a chain market.
In conclusion
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "change"?
changes
and
also
globalization have
Possible spelling mistake found.
numerues
beneficial factors and adverse aspects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the key points are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
Did you mean "its viable effects"?
it's viable effects
are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
prosprose
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IELTS essay what are the main disadvantages of globalization?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
203 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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