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Today's standards require the best students to have pronounced leadership qualities and a stack of certificates to prove their success. It also requires motivation as the only symbol of striving for and achieving success. For the last two years, I have been hearing about it from my teachers, classmates, bloggers on the Internet. Filling out applications, I feel the pressure of this system of standards all the time. I have high achievement in my studies. 100% for my work is my normal grade. However, I have almost no activities that meet the set standards. Working in a team, I easily distribute the tasks, organize the topics and the presentation. With my participation, all members of the group get high marks by default. Yet, I am not an extroverted leader. What is most interesting is that I study hard without any motivation. As I said above, I am not an expressive leader, but I always stand up for what I believe in and people end up conforming to my principles. I never raise my voice or act aggressively. My weapons are patience, steadfastness and fair arguments. And time is my friend and helper. I don't like time tasks. They force me to concentrate on a limited number of minutes, not on the essence of the question asked or the dilemma posed. Who invented timed exams? The person who had a trip scheduled for the next flight? Time assignments are important in times of war, medical operations, or production. When a person's life or safety is at stake. But a literature exam? I am an incorrigible perfectionist. I have an innate sense of duty. It drives me to bring any case to a successful result. And there are no obstacles for me. Even if the task seems impossible. Even if no one has ever done it before. I'll forget about sleep, food, rest, favorite activities. Motivation is not the driving force. Only the task itself and the time. I have no need for recognition or awards. It is more important for me to do the work that has been entrusted to me. A successful result is my ambition. I am hyper-responsible. For me to let down someone who has placed their hopes in me is an exorbitant burden. Therefore, I will always do my best to successfully complete what I have started. Whether it is a high-level event or a minor matter. Frankly, I'm scared, but I'm ready to enter the adult world. My sense of committment and perfectionism will always lead me down the path of new achievements. It was only the sense of routine and lack of inspiration that made me confused. But getting to know NYU, its teaching style, the multifaceted activities, the faculty, and the incredible variety of programs inspired me. The NYU community touched those strings of the soul that seemed to be forever sunk in the stream of school routine, in the storm of an endless series of monotonous exams. NYU is not a spontaneous choice. The carefully chosen NYU awakened a desire to conquer new heights for a girl who had previously been driven only by a sense of obligation. I believe that with something immeasurably more than just duty, that girl will be able to achieve not only personal success, but to make a significant contribution to the good of all humanity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's standards require the best students to have pronounced leadership qualities and a stack of certificates to prove their success. It
also
requires motivation as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
symbol of striving for and achieving success.

For the last two years, I have been hearing about it from my teachers, classmates, bloggers on the Internet. Filling out applications, I feel the pressure of this system of standards all the time.

I have high achievement in my studies. 100% for my work is my normal grade.
However
, I have almost no activities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the set standards.

Working in a team, I
easily
distribute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
, organize the topics and the presentation. With my participation, all members of the group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high marks by default.
Yet
, I am not an extroverted leader.

What is most interesting is that I study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
without any motivation.

As I said above, I am not an expressive leader,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I always stand up for what I believe in and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up conforming to my principles. I never raise my voice or act
aggressively
. My weapons are patience, steadfastness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
arguments. And time is my friend and helper.

I don't like time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tasks
. They force me to concentrate on a limited number of minutes, not on the essence of the question asked or the dilemma posed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Who
invented timed exams? The person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had a trip scheduled for the
next
flight?

Time assignments are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in times of war, medical operations, or production. When a person's life or safety is at stake.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a literature exam?

I am an incorrigible perfectionist. I have an innate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of duty. It drives me to bring any case to a successful result. And there are no obstacles for me.
“Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even if
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
seems impossible. Even if no one has ever done it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I'll forget about sleep, food, rest, favorite activities. Motivation is not the driving force.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
task
itself and the time.

I have no need for recognition or awards. It is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for me to do the work that has
been entrusted
to me. A successful result is my ambition.

I am hyper-responsible. For me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
down someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has placed their hopes in me is an exorbitant burden.
Therefore
, I will always do my best to
successfully
complete what I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. Whether it is a high-level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
or a minor matter.

Frankly
, I'm scared,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I'm ready to enter the adult world. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
committment
and perfectionism will always lead me down the path of new achievements. It was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of routine and lack of inspiration that made me confused.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
getting to know NYU, its teaching style, the multifaceted activities, the faculty, and the incredible variety of programs inspired me. The NYU community touched those strings of the soul that seemed to be forever sunk in the stream of school routine, in the storm of an endless series of monotonous exams.

NYU is not a spontaneous choice. The
carefully
chosen NYU awakened a desire to conquer new heights for a girl
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had previously
been driven
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sense
of obligation. I believe that with something
immeasurably
more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
duty, that girl will be able to achieve not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
personal success,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of all humanity.
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IELTS essay Share an essay on any topic of your choice

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
558 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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