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What are the effects of overcrowding in cities?

What are the effects of overcrowding in cities? My78N
Many countries in the world are currently experiencing growing populations in urban areas. In recent years, big cities are facing overpopulation which led to bad implications for citizens. It is most commonly seen in cities and other urban developments. Pollution, welfare and job competition are consequences of populi explosion. Firstly, overcrowding bring about bad affects for environments in big cities. Acrossding to Ha Noi’s traffic police official, the capital had over 7. 6 million transports in 2020, most of which are motorbikes. This is main cause of noise pollution. For example, in peak hour (rush hour), means of transports often honking loudly, especially while waiting for a red light that make people feel uncomfortable. Moreover, construction sites are also make more dust and loud sound. On other hand, traffic congestion not only limits the convenience of people travelling but also polutes the air severely. In addition, the air pollution situation is became serious by the factories and industrial zones. Secondly, welfare system is not ensure due to overload people. Medical is one of aspects that is seriously affected. For instance, all hospitals are unable meet the number of patients who come for examination and treatment due to numerousness. In the fourth wave of Covid-19, although many field hospitals (bệnh viện dã chiến) was built for infected people in cities, it is not enough. Likewise, The crow of students also causes lack of class and affects the quality of education. Example, there are about 35 to 50 students in a class in Vietnamese’s public schools but only one teacher takes care and teaches during the lesson. Therefore, the teachers have no more time to care for each student. Finally, the job competition rate is increase highly on the ground that the number of laborers is over gathering in cities. In the fact, the number of companies are small meanwhile labor sources are abundant gave rise to competition. For example, after graduated from universities, a lot of people had to works such as construction workers, taxi drivers, clean staff so on. In conclusion, these three multi-effects unambiguously explain, crowding in urbans brings a lot of problems to human beings. It can cause environmental pollution, impact on welfare or career competition. I hope people should not crowd into cities blindly to minimize the negative impacts on social.
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Many
countries in the world are
currently
experiencing growing populations in urban areas. In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are facing overpopulation which led to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
implications for citizens. It is most
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and other urban developments.
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Pollution
, welfare and job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
are consequences of
Possible spelling mistake found.
populi
explosion.

Firstly
, overcrowding bring about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
affects for environments in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Acrossding
to Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
’s traffic police official, the capital had over 7. 6 million transports in 2020, most of which are motorbikes. This is main cause of noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
For example
, in peak hour (rush hour), means of transports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
honking
loudly
,
especially
while waiting for a red light that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel uncomfortable.
Moreover
, construction sites are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "made".
make
more dust and loud sound. On other hand, traffic congestion not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limits the convenience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
polutes
the air
severely
.
In addition
, the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
situation is
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
serious by the factories and industrial zones.

Secondly
, welfare system is not
Consider using a past participle here: "ensured".
ensure
due to overload
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people
. Medical is one of aspects
that is
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
For instance
, all hospitals are unable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the number of patients who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
for examination and treatment due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
numerousness
. In the fourth wave of Covid-19, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
field hospitals (
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bệnh
Possible spelling mistake found.
viện
Possible spelling mistake found.
dã
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chiến
)
was built
for infected
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people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
Likewise
, The crow of students
also
causes lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and affects the quality of education. Example, there are about 35 to 50 students in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in Vietnamese’s public schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one teacher takes care and teaches during the lesson.
Therefore
, the teachers have no more time to care for each student.

Finally
, the job
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competition
rate is increase
highly
on the ground that the number of laborers is over gathering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. In the fact, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
meanwhile labor sources are abundant gave rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
For example
, after graduated from universities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to works such as construction workers, taxi drivers, clean staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, these three multi-effects
unambiguously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, crowding in
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urbans
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems to human beings. It can cause environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
, impact on welfare or career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. I hope
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people
should not crowd into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
blindly
to minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on social.
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IELTS essay What are the effects of overcrowding in cities?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
384 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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