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What are the causes of smoking? How can we reduce smoking in society?

What are the causes of smoking? How can we reduce smoking in society? 9loM0
These days we see that a lot of people, almost all ages smoking, and that very dangerous for the smokers and society. So, i will talk about why do people smoke? Why they can not stop this easily? And how can we reduce the proportion? This essay will give the reasons and solutions, and will draw the conclusion. At the first we should know that reasons, why they somokes? I guess many of them following the trends among teenagers. For example, at the schools between the students, they take the cigarettes to prove they are adults, and a lot of them do not know about risks, the results of this it is jump of smokers percentage. The solution to reduce them make sell the cigarettes limited to who they are bigger than eighteen by the low, make courses to them at the schools and universities about smoking to let them know the risks. Second reason is the free time to adults, many of them have a long time without any work. so, they use the time to justify the act, also reduction percentage of adults is very difficult because they use it a long time ago, so they almost addicted. What they need to cut it off? They need to places of rehabilitation and treatment, gave them treatment tapes and medicie that help to stop. In conclusion, after I give the reasons and solutions, I believe that we can make them stop with support them, talk about the risks for them and the people who stay with them, they should have the desire and power to stop, i hope that we could make no smokers.
These days we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, almost all ages smoking, and that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the smokers and society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will talk about why do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
smoke? Why they can not
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stop
this
easily
? And how can we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the proportion? This essay will give the
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reasons
and solutions, and will draw the conclusion.

At the
first
we should know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, why they
Possible spelling mistake found.
somokes
? I guess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them following the trends among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For example
, at the schools between the students, they take the cigarettes to prove they are adults, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
them do not know about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
, the results of this it is
Consider using a past participle here: "jumped".
jump
of smokers percentage. The solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
sell the cigarettes limited to who they are bigger than eighteen by the low,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
courses to them at the schools and universities about smoking to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

Second
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reason
is the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have a long
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time
without any work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to justify the act,
also
reduction percentage of adults is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it a long
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time
ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they almost addicted. What they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
it off? They need to places of rehabilitation and treatment, gave them treatment tapes and
Possible spelling mistake found.
medicie
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
.

In conclusion
, after I give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and solutions, I believe that we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
with support them, talk about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for them and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who stay with them, they should have the desire and power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
hope that we could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
no smokers.
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IELTS essay What are the causes of smoking? How can we reduce smoking in society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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