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What are the benefits of staying at one job for a long time?

What are the benefits of staying at one job for a long time? ldNEJ
Pursuing a single path career for a long period could provide huge amounts of advantages. First and foremost, personels could have a better promotion prospects. It is undeniable that corporations will put more truth on longtime employees than the newbie. Moreover, those staffs, who have worked for many years, would be offered with a high salary. Due to this reason, it will enhance their job satisfactions greatly. Additionally, there would be a job security, which will mitigating considerably workplace conflict and heavy working pleasure. As the result, employee could allocate significantly more time on their personal life and experience some new hobby.
Pursuing a single path career for a long period could provide huge amounts of advantages.
First
and foremost,
personels
could have a better promotion prospects. It is undeniable that corporations will put more truth on longtime employees than the newbie.
Moreover
, those staffs, who have worked for
many
years, would
be offered
with a high salary. Due to this reason, it will enhance their job satisfactions
greatly
.
Additionally
, there would be a job security, which will mitigating
considerably
workplace conflict and heavy working pleasure. As the result, employee could allocate
significantly
more time on their personal life and experience
some
new hobby.
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IELTS essay What are the benefits of staying at one job for a long time?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
102 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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