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The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the dominant/predominant language in the world. What are some pros and cons of this phenomenon?

The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the dominant/predominant language in the world. What are some pros and cons of this phenomenon? 55loP
Can not deny that we live in an age that English has become an international language and being spoken all around the world. However, benefits always come with harm. The merit that comes to mind is having a common language such as English makes it easier for people to communicate, open numerous opportunities for learning and working, the relationship between people from different countries, they can exchange the traditional cultures and become open-minded. Hơever, language associated with culture therefore the loss of language means loss of culture, language diversity will also disappear Language is not simply a tool for communication, but also an association with the culture and national identity of each person.
Can not deny that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age that English has become an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
being spoken
all around the world.
However
, benefits always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with harm. The merit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind is having a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
such as English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to communicate, open numerous opportunities for learning and working, the relationship between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, they can exchange the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and become open-minded.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hơever
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
therefore
the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
means loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
diversity will
also
disappear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
is not
simply
a tool for communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an association with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and national identity of each person.

IELTS essay The development of tourism has contributed to English becoming the dominant/predominant language in the world. What are some pros and cons of this phenomenon?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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