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What are the benefits and drawbacks of shopping malls? Do we need more of them?

What are the benefits and drawbacks of shopping malls? Do we need more of them? 52EwQ
Shopping malls are convenient places where everyone can go to do many things. Currently, there are many shopping malls worldwide, and they have many different styles. Moreover, In today's world, shopping malls are a significant part of some people's life. On the other hand, there are few shopping malls in the countryside. Consequently, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping malls and will argue that there should be more malls. First of all, shopping malls have many advantages for many people. For the first reason, shopping malls are meeting points for friends and family. Many people like to spend time with important people on weekends or significant days. Department stores are an alternative way to spend time with them because they are easily accessible, and they are well known to many people. These days, socialization is an important aspect of human life. Many young people like to go out and meet their friends at department stores because they can do many activities; for example, singing, playing games or bowling. For the next reason, shopping malls are convenient for many services. There is a center that collects various services. Therefore, many people like to go because they want to use many services, such as post offices, banks or supermarkets that close later than usual. On the other hand, there are some clear disadvantages of shopping malls. Firstly, shopping malls are overcrowded. Many people spend the same time in the shopping malls during peak times like noon or early evening to buy stuff for their house and eat lunch or dinner with their family. During the covid-19, crowded people are at risk of inflection. Lastly, shopping malls drain resources. Many shops and services use several resources, such as electricity, water, or construction material. For example, the department store is open all day, so they must turn on the light and air condition all day too. That is the reason why shopping malls drain resources. Moreover, some services like restaurants and coffee shops use a lot of water too. Today, some resources around the world are depleted. In my opinion, shopping malls should have more malls because that is the center point where you can make an appointment with family and friends. After all, it is the place that most people know, and it is easy to go to. Moreover, shopping malls are convenient for many services because it is a place where all important services are gathered in one place. Although shopping malls are great centers, in the countryside are few malls. Consequently, shopping malls should be built more out of the city, to make people more comfortable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
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malls
are convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where everyone can go to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
Currently
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
worldwide, and they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles.
Moreover
, In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are a significant part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
On the other hand
, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in the countryside.
Consequently
, this essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
and will argue that there should be more malls.

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First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For the
first
reason,
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shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are meeting points for friends and family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
like to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on weekends or significant days. Department stores are an alternative way to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
easily
accessible, and they are well known to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These days, socialization is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their friends at department stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities;
for example
, singing, playing games or bowling. For the
next
reason,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are convenient for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. There is a center that collects various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, such as post offices, banks or supermarkets that close later than usual.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
Firstly
,
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shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are overcrowded
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
during peak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
like noon or early evening to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and eat lunch or dinner with their family. During the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
, crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of inflection.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
drain resources.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
shops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
several resources, such as electricity, water, or construction material.
For example
, the department store is open all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
turn on the light and air condition all day too.
That is
the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
drain resources.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
like restaurants and coffee shops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
water too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
resources around the world
are depleted
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
should have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
the center point where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an appointment with family and friends.
After all
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know, and it is easy to go to.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are convenient for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
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services
are gathered
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
are great centers, in the countryside are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
should
be built
more out of the city, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more comfortable.
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IELTS essay What are the benefits and drawbacks of shopping malls? Do we need more of them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
439 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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