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What are the advantages and the disadvantages of being over-competitive to individuals and society?

What are the advantages and the disadvantages of being over-competitive to individuals and society? KwNp3
The controversial topic concerning behavior is immensely popular with people in various countries across the world. While there has been numerous debate about whether being over-competitive can benefit person or not, I strongly believe that the advantages of such human features far outweigh the adverse sides. In this essay I will examine these concepts in further details. First of all, there is a great deal of reasons for considering success as the most crucial factor in our life. Therefore, dealing with the problem at its roots by teaching a child how to overgo others parents would be able to contribute to enhancement of the chances for success in society at the earliest years. An example is the United States, where since the introduction of such innovations poverty has declined for more than 30%. In contrast, it should be pointed out that excessive desire to win may also affect the society. In other words, the outcomes of these actions will inevitably result in aggravation the situation in relationships with peers and colleagues. According to the latest data, after holding a competition Siemens has boosted investment in team-building meetings. In conclusion, considering the aforementioned points, it can be summarized as follows: unless people take relationships more seriously, it is likely that they will not see any improvement in their quality of life.
The controversial topic concerning behavior is
immensely
popular with
people
in various countries across the world. While there has been numerous debate about whether being over-competitive can benefit person or not, I
strongly
believe that the advantages of such human features far outweigh the adverse sides. In this essay I will examine these concepts in
further
details
.

First of all
, there is a great deal of reasons for considering success as the most crucial factor in our life.
Therefore
, dealing with the problem at its roots by teaching a child how to
overgo
others parents would be able to contribute to enhancement of the chances for success in society at the earliest years. An example is the United States, where since the introduction of such
innovations
poverty has declined for more than 30%.

In contrast
, it should
be pointed
out that excessive desire to win may
also
affect the society.
In other words
, the outcomes of these actions will
inevitably
result in aggravation the situation in relationships with peers and colleagues. According to the latest data, after holding a competition Siemens has boosted investment in team-building meetings.

In conclusion
, considering the aforementioned points, it can
be summarized
as follows: unless
people
take relationships more
seriously
, it is likely that they will not
see
any improvement in their quality of life.
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IELTS essay What are the advantages and the disadvantages of being over-competitive to individuals and society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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