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It's better to live in the City than to live in the Countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

It's better to live in the City than to live in the Countryside. E3Bmr
The question of whether or not live in urban areas is better than in rural ones has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While I agree that living in the city brings several advantages, I also believe there are significant disadvantages which city dwellers can have. On the one hand, I agree that city life is attractive as it offers opportunities that can change one’s life, especially the young’s. First and foremost, cities are more likely to offer greater employment possibilities. In fact, traditional activities like farming need fewer workers nowadays thanks to the development of machines and technology. That is why people in the countryside, especially younger workers, tend to move to cities searching for job opportunities. Moreover, a higher standard of living with educational and medical facilities that help people better themselves and guarantee that brighter prospects can be found in urban areas. Nevertheless, I also think that residents in cities have to face different problems that would make their life uncomfortable and stressful. Firstly, traffic congestion and pollution are one of the most common issues people usually experience in the city. In fact, the number of commuters and private vehicles they use tends to increase since the population in most cities is growing. This means that the traffic jam at peak hours when people going to and from work is unavoidable and the exhaust fumes released will pollute the environment, which leads to frustration while traveling and unhealthy life of citizens. Secondly, homelessness and poverty are easily seen in cities since the cost of living is often higher than in rural areas and not all people in cities manage to find work. The housing rent is usually much more expensive and since it is populous, there is always a lack of housing for people. If the situation continues and it is not be solved immediately, the crime rate will increase in urban areas, which will affect people’s safety In conclusion, to a certain extent, I agree that living in a city is advantageous because of the chances to help people change their life. However, I also think that it is detrimental and unhealthy due to some problems related to overpopulation.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in urban areas is better than in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city brings several advantages, I
also
believe there are significant disadvantages which city dwellers can have.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is attractive as it offers opportunities that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
especially
the young’s.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are more likely to offer greater employment possibilities. In fact, traditional activities like farming need fewer workers nowadays thanks to the development of machines and technology.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the countryside,
especially
younger workers, tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
searching for job opportunities.
Moreover
, a higher standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with educational and medical facilities that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
better themselves and guarantee that brighter prospects can
be found
in urban areas.

Nevertheless
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that residents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
uncomfortable and stressful.
Firstly
, traffic congestion and pollution are one of the most common issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
experience in the city. In fact, the number of commuters and private vehicles they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tends to increase since the population in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is growing. This means that the traffic jam at peak hours when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to and from work is unavoidable and the exhaust fumes released will pollute the environment, which leads to frustration while traveling and unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of citizens.
Secondly
, homelessness and poverty are
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
since the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
higher than in rural areas and not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
manage to find work. The housing rent is
usually
much more expensive and since it is populous, there is always a lack of housing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If the situation continues and it is not
be solved
immediately, the crime rate will increase in urban areas, which will affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
safety


In conclusion
, to a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a city is advantageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
.
However
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is detrimental and unhealthy due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems related to overpopulation.
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IELTS essay It's better to live in the City than to live in the Countryside.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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