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What are the advantages and disadvantages of package holidaymakers?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of package holidaymakers? b35E3
Nowadays, travel agencies flood the market with their services because of an increasing number of people who spend their casual and public holidays in the foreign country. The most popular one is package holidays, Some people think that package holidays are willingly chosen by families, newly wed couples and pensioners because of its multitude advantages. However, there both pros and cons of this kind of travelling. Firstly, tourist can easily anticipate what the total cost of the holiday will be. Package holidays are low-cost and usually flights, accommodation, meals and entertainments include to this price. So, foreigners can save their time as well as a large amount of money. Secondly, many packages offer facilities such as pools, restaurants, children clubs and activities such as cycling or tennis. So, people never get bored during the trip. These forms of activities make tourist's journey more intriguing. On the other hand, the worst thing which can happen when people choose package holidays is that they can be cheated by travel agencies. In these days, such cases are very common. After tourists get to the host country it may appear that their accommodation have not been paid or the hotel standard is not on the level that they expected. This situation can disappointed tourists and they cannot get their money back. In addition, package holidays can predict foreigners' freedom during the travel. It means that they stuck with whatever the service offers which might be good or bad. Some of visitors cannot feel themselves comfortable among many people. In conclusion, it seems that package holidays can have both advantages and disadvantages. Package holidaymakers offer carefree and low -cost journey with high quality, they also have some drawbacks that people tend to forget such as being cheated or not enjoying the travel freely.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies flood the market with their services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend their casual and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
in the foreign country. The most popular one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are
willingly
chosen by families,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
newly wed
couples and pensioners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its multitude advantages.
However
, there both pros and cons of this kind of travelling.

Firstly
, tourist can
easily
anticipate what the total cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
will be.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are low-cost and
usually
flights, accommodation, meals and entertainments include to this price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, foreigners can save their time
as well
as a large amount of money.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
offer facilities such as pools, restaurants, children clubs and activities such as cycling or tennis.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored during the trip. These forms of activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tourist's journey more intriguing.

On the other hand
, the worst thing which can happen when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
is that they can
be cheated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
agencies. In these days, such cases are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common. After tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the host country it may appear that their accommodation have not
been paid
or the hotel standard is not on the level that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. This situation can disappointed
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tourists and
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their money back.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
can predict foreigners' freedom during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. It means that they stuck with whatever the service offers which might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
After 'Some of', you should use 'the' ("Some of the visitors") or simply say "Some visitors".
Some of visitors
cannot feel themselves comfortable among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
can have both advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Package
holidaymakers offer carefree and low -cost journey with high quality, they
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to forget such as
being cheated
or not enjoying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
freely
.
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IELTS essay What are the advantages and disadvantages of package holidaymakers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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