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should more subjects be added to the school curriculum?

should more subjects be added to the school curriculum? rbmYN
A school is a place where you start your neverending path of learning. It teaches future adults lots of things, not only about lessons they had. So, should more subjects be added to the school curriculum? Having more subjects would help pupils learn new skills. If there were more vocational lessons, it would help kids with a less academic mentality find their way. In this way, if everyone had the skills they needed, it could reduce unemployment. Learning core subjects for more time a week will improve skills. All jobs require a good level of literacy and numeracy, and you study it in a school, at the core lessons. As a result, young people, who finish school, will have better career options. School timetables are already crowded, so more subjects will make it unbearable. Pupils get tired easier than adults, so if they get overloaded with work, they will learn less, too. So, having more subjects can be less resultative. In summary, having more subjects can help fewer academic pupils find their future job and improve literacy and numeracy. The only problem is that kids will get overloaded with more lessons.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
your
Possible spelling mistake found.
neverending
path of learning. It teaches future adults lots of things, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about
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lessons
they had.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, should more
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subjects
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum?

Having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
pupils learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. If there were more vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids with a less academic mentality find their way. In this way, if everyone had the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they needed, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment.

Learning core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for more time a week will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. All jobs require a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
level of literacy and numeracy, and you study it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, at the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
As a result
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, will have better career options.

School timetables are already crowded,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it unbearable. Pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
tired easier than adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overloaded with work, they will learn less, too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can be less
Possible spelling mistake found.
resultative
.

In summary, having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
fewer academic pupils find their future job and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
literacy and numeracy. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
problem is that kids will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
overloaded with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
.
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IELTS essay should more subjects be added to the school curriculum?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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