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WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF CHILDREN SPENDING THEIR FREE TIME AT HOME WITH FAMILY.

WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF CHILDREN SPENDING THEIR FREE TIME AT HOME WITH FAMILY. xgNd9
Nowadays, a lot of parents think that their children stay their free time at home with them. However, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss staying at home is so good and bad. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of spending at home. One of the main positives of staying at home is that it can make them friendly. What I mean by this is that you have the chance to have eat, watch TV, read books, have a chat, and so on together. It encourages your sense of nearness. Secondly, if your children stay at home their free time, they can learn how to do houseworks from you. For example, how cook, wash up the dishes, tidy up the room, repair the devices and so on. It helps them much more active during their life. Turning to the other side of the argument, becoming primitive person is a major problem. Many children who stay at home have few friends, so they can not be sociable. Another issue is that it can be difficult to solve the problems themselves. In other words, if they had had any challenges, they would not have overcome without their parents. All considered, children spending their free time at home with their family is always problem. You need to weigh up the pros of being friendly and hardworking and the some cons of being primitive and inconstant person. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth eventually outweigh any negatives.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stay their free time at home with them.
However
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do this. In this essay, I will discuss staying at home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of spending at home. One of the main positives of staying at home is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them friendly. What I mean by this is that you have the chance to have
Use past participle here: "eaten".
eat
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV, read books, have a chat, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on together. It encourages your sense of nearness.
Secondly
, if your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
stay at home their free time, they can learn how to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
houseworks
from you.
For example
, how cook, wash up the dishes, tidy up the room, repair the devices and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them much more active during their life. Turning to the other side of the argument, becoming primitive person is a major problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who stay at home have few friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can not be sociable. Another issue is that it can be difficult to solve the problems themselves.
In other words
, if they had had any challenges, they would not have overcome without their parents. All considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spending their free time at home with their family is always problem. You need to weigh up the pros of being friendly and hardworking and the
Did you mean "same"?
some
cons of being primitive and inconstant person.
Personally
, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth
eventually
outweigh any negatives.
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IELTS essay WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF CHILDREN SPENDING THEIR FREE TIME AT HOME WITH FAMILY.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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