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What are some qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer. v.1

What are some qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 1
The Metropolitan cities of the world are becoming unmanageable due to the insane increase of population. There is a myth that government move factories to newly build industrial zones to reduce the load from mega cities. While, this plan may look good on paper, but it will be very hard to execute. In this essay I will discuss why it is ultimately not for the best. People from remote areas, come to large cities for higher studies and building their careers. Although, this inflow overloads main cities, but they also provide skill and labour for the businesses. However, this spurs a debate that government should move already established businesses to the regional hub. This plan will not only create new avenues for big companies, but provide job opportunities for people in remote areas. For instance, Pakistan has established a new industrial zone in Gawadar which is a new sea port area, and authorities are providing incentives and facilities to attract business. Therefore this will attract businesses to establish in that region. Certainly, moving businesses to regional hubs and dismantling already installed and working factories will make no sense. Although, it will not only have a cost of no production for a long period of time, but there is also a chance of damaged equipment during this process. In addition to that workers will lose jobs who settle into that particular area for that very job. Moving all the workers and their families will never be a practical idea. Therefore, moving already established businesses to any place will not be a good idea. In conclusion, although, government may facilitate and give incentives to large companies to extend or establish new business in regional hubs, but it is absolutely imperative that moving already established concerns will not be feasible.
The Metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of the world are becoming unmanageable due to the insane increase of population. There is a myth that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
factories to
newly
build industrial zones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the load from mega
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While, this plan may look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
on paper,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to execute. In this essay I will discuss why it is
ultimately
not for the best.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for higher studies and building their careers. Although, this inflow overloads main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
However
, this spurs a debate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to the regional hub. This plan will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
avenues for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
provide job opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For instance
, Pakistan has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
established
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
industrial zone in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gawadar
which is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
sea port
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, and authorities are providing incentives and facilities to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this will attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to establish in that region.

Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to regional hubs and dismantling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
installed and working factories will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
no sense. Although, it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a cost of no production for a long period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is
also
a chance of damaged equipment during this process.
In addition
to that workers will lose jobs who settle into that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
for that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Moving
all the workers and their families will never be a practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to any place will not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In conclusion
, although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may facilitate and give incentives to large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to extend or establish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in regional hubs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
absolutely
imperative that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
already
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
established
concerns will not be feasible.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay What are some qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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