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What are causes people move to other countries?

What are causes people move to other countries? qQx3E
People want to move abroud becuse of many reason. First cause is that life conditions for example life conditions in Turkey are challenging for people, we can understand this by looking at the market prices. The prices of the products that people need are too high. In adition because of the inflation products prices increase every year. People’s salary is not enough to cover these prices. Second cause is education of course. All of familys care children’s education.
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People
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
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abroud
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuse
of
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
.
First
cause is that life conditions
for example
life conditions in Turkey are challenging for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we can understand this by looking at the market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of the products that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need are too high. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
adition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inflation products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
increase every year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
salary is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cover these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
. Second cause is education
of course
. All of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "families", the plural form of the noun 'family'?
familys care
children’s education.
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IELTS essay What are causes people move to other countries?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
78 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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