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What are causes and solutions to children’s violence?

What are causes and solutions to children’s violence? yXn9d
Violence among teenagers is on the rise. Some fear that the lack of parental guidance is the chief contributor. Parents who are pre-occupied with their own career and private lives might make light of their children, derailing the latter to days of depression. Some children use violence as a way to draw attention from their peers at school. Others, due to socializing with bad peers, mimic aggressive behavior. Several teachers, worse still, add to this unwanted issue by discriminating kids. A group of kids from well-to-do families become the apple of their eyes while other poorer ones are totally neglected and even despised. Violence, again, is their last resort to ask for dire equality that seems so rare in a society where the gap between classes is unbridgeable. Governmental inability to solve the matter of ever-growing unemployment is accountable for the poverty of many families whose children are physically abused to support families. Gradually, living in families with both labor-exploitation and domestic violence, children are highly vulnerable to negative acts. Programs on media fraught with images of violence fuel this. There are stories of the little kid at the age of five killing others after imitating the massive-shooting hero in his favorite movie. Solutions to this problem are various. One of the most vital remedies is that parents should spend more time with their children, communicating, sharing and listening to the latter’s voice. As the generation gap narrows, kids feel loved, learn to behave well, and find no need to throw their emotional tantrums onto others. Teachers, too, have to learn to respect every kid equally regardless of background while governments must go to any length to minimize the rate of joblessness. Laws on protecting kids from violent parents and censorship to filter content on media are also constructive steps to put an end to this head-aching phenomenon.
Violence
among
teenagers
is on the rise.
Some
fear that the lack of parental guidance is the chief contributor. Parents who are
pre-occupied
with their
own
career and private
lives
might
make
light of their
children
, derailing the latter to days of depression.
Some
children
use
violence
as a way to draw attention from their peers at school.

Others, due to socializing with
bad
peers, mimic aggressive behavior. Several teachers, worse
still
,
add
to this unwanted issue by discriminating
kids
. A group of
kids
from well-to-do
families
become the apple of their eyes while other poorer ones are
totally
neglected and even despised.
Violence
, again, is their last resort to
ask for
dire equality that seems
so
rare in a society where the gap between classes is unbridgeable.

Governmental inability to solve the matter of ever-growing unemployment is accountable for the poverty of
many
families
whose
children
are
physically
abused to support
families
.
Gradually
, living in
families
with both labor-exploitation and domestic
violence
,
children
are
highly
vulnerable to
negative
acts. Programs on media fraught with images of
violence
fuel this. There are stories of the
little
kid
at the age of five killing others after imitating the massive-shooting hero in his favorite movie.

Solutions to this problem are various. One of the most vital remedies is that parents should spend more time with their
children
, communicating, sharing and listening to the latter’s voice. As the generation gap narrows,
kids
feel
loved
, learn to behave well, and find no need to throw their emotional tantrums onto others. Teachers, too,
have to
learn to respect every
kid
equally
regardless of background while
governments
must
go to any length to minimize the rate of joblessness. Laws on protecting
kids
from violent parents and censorship to filter content on media are
also
constructive steps to put an
end
to this head-aching phenomenon.
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IELTS essay What are causes and solutions to children’s violence?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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