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What advice would you give a friend who is having difficulty at work? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v.1

What advice would you give a friend who is having difficulty at work? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 1
In this modern era, people are totally dependent on computers, whether it be at school or in any sort of educational field. It is seen as a very positive step in studies by some people, others, however, think it can lead to unwanted results. This essay will discuss both sides and reflect on computer usage importance. Computers are becoming a basic necessity of our lives, but some believe it has a lot more negative impact on children’s lives than benefits. The reasons usually they give are as follows: students focus more on video games rather than their studies and may become friends with strangers through social media which in itself could be a dangerous thing. Moreover, parents cannot keep an eye on their kids 24 hours a day and thus, it becomes easier for kids to navigate to group chats or involve in games which makes them happy. This as a result not only wastes their time, but put them in danger if someone tries to misguide them to steal or do wrong acts. As a solution, electronic devices access should be limited to the times when parents are supervising them to avoid the unwanted circumstances or distraction from studies. On the other hand, those who believe that the internet and electronic devices, being a good source of learning, are improving education in many ways. To illustrate, people didn’t have these devices before and kids were missing on a lot of inventions and creativity in their schools, but now they can come up with excellent projects with one click. Not only this, but students can get certificates and degrees through distant learning programs along with their day jobs. Therefore, I strongly believe that computers are the future of education and they can’t be separated from each other. To conclude, computers can’t be taken away from students when it comes to education as it helps them learn and apply what they learn from it in their studies. Thus, parents and schools should allow its use and supervise kids when doubted.
In this modern era,
people
are
totally
dependent on computers, whether it be at school or in any sort of educational field. It is
seen
as a
very
positive
step in studies by
some
people
, others,
however
,
think
it can lead to unwanted results. This essay will discuss both sides and reflect on computer usage importance.

Computers are becoming a basic necessity of our
lives
,
but
some
believe it has a lot more
negative
impact on children’s
lives
than benefits. The reasons
usually
they give are as follows: students focus more on video games
rather
than their studies and may become friends with strangers through social media which in itself could be a
dangerous
thing.
Moreover
, parents cannot
keep
an eye on their
kids
24 hours a day and
thus
, it becomes easier for
kids
to navigate to group chats or involve in games which
makes
them happy. This
as a result
not
only
wastes their time,
but
put them in
danger
if someone tries to misguide them to steal or do
wrong
acts. As a solution, electronic devices access should
be limited
to the times when parents are supervising them to avoid the unwanted circumstances or distraction from studies.

On the other hand
, those who believe that the internet and electronic devices, being a
good
source of learning, are improving education in
many
ways. To illustrate,
people
didn’t have these devices
before
and
kids
were missing on
a lot of
inventions and creativity in their schools,
but
now
they can
come
up with excellent projects with one click. Not
only
this,
but
students can
get
certificates and degrees through distant learning programs along with their day jobs.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe that computers are the future of
education and
they can’t
be separated
from each other.

To conclude
, computers can’t
be taken
away from students when it
comes
to education as it
helps
them learn and apply what they learn from it in their studies.
Thus
, parents and schools should
allow
its
use
and supervise
kids
when doubted.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What advice would you give a friend who is having difficulty at work? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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