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Wearing uniform is popular in school but others argue that it might be damaged children's individualism.

Wearing uniform is popular in school but others argue that it might be damaged children's individualism. R0PWQ
Some people consider that school children should wear uniforms and this tradition is known as tradition among schools but having said that others think that by wearing uniform, pupils' individualism may be damaged. In this essay I will give my opinions with details. On the one hand, Wearing uniform is traditional way of how pupils have to wear. there are many advantages sides that going to school with the same clothes in every time and it is popular with over the wold. Firstly, If I take the advantage sides, it can support equality among school children for example there are a great deal of children who are come from rich families and others may be poor, in this condition the rich men's children can put on different clothes but another ones can't afford to buy them so children don't differ from one another. On the other hand, wearing special clothes can be distinguished from others, it can show the motto of schools or education centers If I give examples we can clarify every schools with their numbers by uniforms and in addition to this it may be known who is pupil or is not. Furthermore there are some drawbacks about the special dress is famous for among students. It is said that It can be caused some problems which is related to the individualism for instance there is someone who prefers short or different types of clothes and they claim that uniforms are not suitable for their lifestyle owing to the fact that it may be very long or only the same colour, they remarked that learning something is not depend on the what we wear, there are a lot of people who didn't put on dress even they couldn't go to school but they are well educated. In conclusion I strongly believe that special uniforms are good enough in some statements as I remarked but we mustn't forget another people's opinions I think It is more convenient wearing uniform in educational places than the letter opinion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
and this tradition
is known
as tradition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having said that others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that by wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
, pupils' individualism may
be damaged
. In this essay I will give my opinions with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the one hand, Wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a traditional".
traditional
way of how pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages sides that going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in every time and it is popular with over the wold.
Firstly
, If I take the advantage sides, it can support equality among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for example
there are a great
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "deals"?
deal
of
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children
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who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from rich families
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and others
may be poor, in this condition the rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can put on
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different
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clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another ones can't afford to
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buy
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't differ from one another.

On the
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other
hand, wearing special
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clothes
can
be distinguished
from others, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the motto of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or education centers If I give examples we can clarify every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "school"?
schools
with their numbers by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
and
in addition
to this it may
be known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is pupil or is not.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks about the special dress is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for among students. It
is said
that It can
be caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems which
is related
to the individualism
for instance
there is someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefers short or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clothes and
they claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are not suitable for their lifestyle owing to the fact that it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the same
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, they remarked that learning something is not
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the what we wear, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
didn't put on dress even they couldn't go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
strongly
believe that special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
statements as I remarked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we mustn't forget another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's opinions I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
It is more convenient wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
in educational places than the letter opinion.
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IELTS essay Wearing uniform is popular in school but others argue that it might be damaged children's individualism.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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