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Writing Task 2, Cambridge 10 Page 55

Writing Task 2, Cambridge 10 Page 55 EqEDD
Few numbers of people are believe that, it is crucial to response, what are choose the University students for their study Others people think, it should be like for where they have a good future. Independent is a by birth right of every human beings. so everyone have independence to take dicission for him. for this reason every student can continue their study what he want and it should. Because if a student take a subject for him guardians presure, which he won't like. As a result may they can't concentrate of these subject and he won't able very good results. For instance we can say, some student have very much attraction with Music, Art and Acting, but these subject has no very good future in the state where they have lived. so that their gurdians are forbid them to take these subject. And they have no interest with subject. As a result they can't able a good result. On the other hand, some people think every student should choice those subject which subject has very good future. Because, at present time unemployment is a major problems all over the world. So any student have no enough time to missuse to choose a subject which is not benefical for future. At this moment lots of vacancy of science and technology sector. In my opinion every student should take a subject for his/her study where has a useful future. To sum up, it is clear to understand, current situation is not perfect for choose a subject which have no bright future.
Few numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are believe that, it is crucial to response, what are
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
the University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their study Others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, it should be like for where they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Independent is a by birth right of every human beings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
independence to take
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicission
for him.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
this reason every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can continue their study what he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
and it should.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for him guardians
Possible spelling mistake found.
presure
, which he won't like. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
may they can't concentrate of these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subject and
he won't able
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, we".
instance we
can say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much attraction with Music, Art and Acting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in the state where they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
that their
Possible spelling mistake found.
gurdians
are forbid them to take these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. And they have no interest with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
they can't able a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should choice those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, at present time unemployment is a major
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
Possible spelling mistake found.
missuse
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. At this moment
Possible agreement error. The noun vacancy seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of vacancies".
lots of vacancy
of science and technology sector. In my opinion every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
for his/her study where has a useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. To sum up, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to understand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation is not perfect for choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which have no bright
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Writing Task 2, Cambridge 10 Page 55

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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