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WE WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND ? BELIEFS ? VALUES AND /OR THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE . PLEASE TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS INFLUENCED YOU AND ARICULATE HOW IT HAS SHAPED YOU

WE WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND? BELIEFS? VALUES AND /OR THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. PLEASE TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS INFLUENCED YOU AND ARICULATE HOW IT HAS SHAPED YOU Ar1e3
Becoming a teen is getting out of that little pinky world and confronting a harder one that made me lose sight of my tomorrow. Fortunately, I have my grandfather by my side to help me take a step back from the life that has hitherto consumed me and reflect, shedding light on things Iwasn’t able to see. «- Close your eyes and tell me what you see. - Nothing grandfather. All I see is darkness. - I see a pure soul, innocently standing in front of a long tunnel, a tenebrous one, filled with hardships. However, she can see light at its end and that was enough to arm her with patience and faith to keep fighting. All along her way, family and friends will be the candle to brighten her path», said grandfather. It was then that I opened my eyes and started to see. Sitting in that tiny room I have never felt such hope. I now strongly believe that the struggle is part of the journey. Today I have an unrelenting belief that things will work out somehow, that the long road has a purpose and that the sun will rise again, I only have to continue and persist
Becoming a teen is getting out of that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
pinky world and confronting a harder one that made me lose sight of my tomorrow.
Fortunately
, I have my grandfather by my side to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me take a step back from the life that has hitherto consumed me and reflect, shedding light on things
Possible spelling mistake found.
Iwasn
’t able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.

«
Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Close your eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me what you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
Nothing grandfather. All I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
is darkness.

Consider using an m-dash in dialogues and enumerations.
-
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a pure soul,
innocently
standing in front of a long tunnel, a tenebrous one, filled with hardships.
However
, she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
light at its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
and that was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to arm her with patience and faith to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fighting. All along her way, family and friends will be the candle to brighten her path», said grandfather.

It was then that I opened my eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
. Sitting in that tiny room I have never felt such hope. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
strongly
believe that the struggle is part of the journey.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
I have an unrelenting belief that things will work out somehow, that the long road has a purpose and that the sun will rise again, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
continue and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
persist
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IELTS essay WE WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND? BELIEFS? VALUES AND /OR THE IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. PLEASE TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAS INFLUENCED YOU AND ARICULATE HOW IT HAS SHAPED YOU

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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