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Some people think a part-time job in the last year of study is beneficial for a student, although others think it’s bad for a student.

Some people think a part-time job in the last year of study is beneficial for a student, although others think it’s bad for a student. OwD9d
Some people think a part-time job in the last year of study is beneficial for a student, although others think it’s bad for a student. In my view, there are advantages and disadvantages to working during the last year of study. Firstly, it's profit to student learn to manage money or not waste money and help to realize how it's difficult earning money for parents, especially with halal. Secondly, it's a benefit to the student for gaining experience from the job which is can help in future career or job. And last profit to the student is building life skills. for instance, marketing, speaking with people properly or distinguishing between WHITE and BLACK(PEOPLE) However, on the other hand, the student relationship can change to bad. especially treat with parents because on student's imagination he has been already matured therefore not will respect his parents or friends. furthermore, the student has less time for studying or preparing for exams to enter university and may occur a negative view of the workplace on student's imagination depending on the job, because if the job is physically difficult it leaves a negative impression on student's imagination. in conclusion, it depends on the family's finances or the desire of the student.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the last year of study is beneficial for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, although others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for a student.

In my view, there are advantages and disadvantages to working during the last year of study.

Firstly
, it's profit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learn to manage money or not waste money

and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to realize how it's difficult earning money for parents,
especially
with halal.
Secondly
, it's a benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
for gaining experience from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which is can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in future career or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. And last profit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is building life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, marketing, speaking with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
properly
or distinguishing between WHITE and BLACK(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
)

However
,
on the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
relationship can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Did you mean "too"?
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
especially
treat with parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on student's imagination he has been already matured
therefore
not will respect his parents or friends.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has less time for studying or preparing for exams to enter university and may occur a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
view of the workplace

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
student's imagination depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
physically
difficult it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impression on student's imagination.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, it depends on the family's finances or the desire of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
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IELTS essay Some people think a part-time job in the last year of study is beneficial for a student, although others think it’s bad for a student.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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