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We shouldn't follow fashion trends and we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in

We shouldn't follow fashion trends and we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in a7NNm
These days, fashion is something that everyone wants to embrace, particularly when it comes to fashion trends. However, there are some opinions that people should not dress according to current trends, but rather in what they enjoy and feel at ease in. From my point of view, I wholly agree with this opinion. To begin with, fashion is a changeable trend by its nature. As a result, adopting this dynamic approach is extremely costly, and it is essentially a waste of people's money and time. Instead of saving money for his future, my older brother spends more than half of his income on the latest fashion, and a lot of them he never wears a second time. It is really a waste of money. Not to mention, the primary function of clothing is to protect individuals from various weather conditions rather than to show off. If everyone wears the same fashion model, they will sooner or later lose their own fashion identity. In addition, people should dress in clothing that makes them feel at ease. Convenient clothing is not necessarily the most fashionable. But wearing those garments can make a person's life easier. For instance, baggy clothes are not the trendiest, but they are incredibly nice to wear since they are loose and relaxing. Whereas, tight clothing is incredibly trendy but not particularly comfortable, so comfort should take precedence over style. However, admittedly, people who dress well and follow fashion and lasted styles are more noticed than those who do not care about their clothes and styling. But I believe that it is just temporary attention. To sum up, I reaffirm my position that people do not need to keep up with the latest fashion, just wear what makes them happy and beautiful, not what society expects them to wear.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is something that everyone wants to embrace,
particularly
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
trends.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not dress according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
in what they enjoy and feel at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in. From my point of view, I wholly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is a changeable trend by its nature.
As a result
, adopting this dynamic approach is
extremely
costly, and it is
essentially
a waste of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's money and time.
Instead
of saving money for his future, my older brother spends more than half of his income on the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
them he never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
a second time. It is
really
a waste of money. Not to mention, the primary function of clothing is to protect individuals from various weather conditions
rather
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off. If everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wears
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
model, they will sooner or later lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
identity.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should dress in clothing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. Convenient clothing is not
necessarily
the most fashionable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
wearing those garments can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person's life easier.
For instance
, baggy clothes are not the trendiest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
incredibly
nice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
since they are loose and relaxing. Whereas, tight clothing is
incredibly
trendy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
particularly
comfortable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
comfort should take precedence over style.

However
,
admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who dress well and follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and lasted styles are more noticed than those who do not care about their clothes and styling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
temporary attention.

To sum up, I reaffirm my position that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, not what society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
.
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IELTS essay We shouldn't follow fashion trends and we should dress in what we like and feel comfortable in

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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