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gettind old makes people's live better

gettind old makes people's live better 3WeVm
There are many opinions about whether we feel happy when we are young or when we are old. Some people say that we feel happy when we are young because then we can enjoy life in a way that old people cannot feel. In my own opinion, this opinion is completely reasonable. First of all, it's a good idea to enjoy life while you're young. Because the youth of each person is not long, if not quite short. During this time, when we have enthusiasm and passion, we go to explore new lands, discover pleasures such as mountain climbing, camping in the forest, . . . but only when we full of energy and health then we can enjoy. Next, when we are young, we don't have too many things to think about, for example, saving money for our children and grandchildren, saving money when we get sick, saving money to buy a house, buy a car, . . . All those things we have to think about when we are old, and they make our life more tiring when we get old and make life more boring when we can't fully enjoy life.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opinions about whether we feel happy when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
or when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that we feel happy when we are
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young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
then we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot feel. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, this opinion is completely reasonable.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it's a
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good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while you're
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young
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the youth of each person is not long, if not quite short. During this time, when we have enthusiasm and passion, we go to explore new lands, discover pleasures such as mountain climbing, camping in the forest
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when we full of energy and health then we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
.
Next
, when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, we don't have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to
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think
about,
for example
, saving money for our children and grandchildren, saving money when we
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get
sick, saving money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a car
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
All those things we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about when we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more tiring when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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old
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more boring when we can't
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay gettind old makes people's live better

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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