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We should encourage young people to visit different countries as it could bring many benefits to them Do you agree or disagree

We should encourage young people to visit different countries as it could bring many benefits to them dopwE
Many people nowadays travel to variety countries to study or to experience life. From my point of view, I totally agree that a journey to different countries significantly advantage youth. Firstly, young people will learn, research and experience a great deal about many different cultures. It is evident that cultural diversity exists even in one country; however, that difference is shown more distinctly between countries, for example in language, history or religion. Every country has its advantages and disadvantages in many aspects, directly experience those pros and cons will gain their knowledge on multiple sides of life quickly. From those points, people will be easy to adapt globalisation, which is the main tendency nowadays. Besides, encountering obstacles and difficulties are inevitable when entering foreign places; through the challenges young people might face, they experience self-training, which is the most efficient approach to enhance their skills; that is because they are forced to develop new abilities to adapt foreign situations. For example, communication in general, and language in particular, people will have many chances to demonstrate their ideas to other individuals who speak different languages; hence, their communication skill and also their confidence will be extremely improved. Moreover, travelling is an excellent opportunity to grow networks; people might have new incredible valuable connections during their journey. In conclusion, it is true that travelling abroad contains many obstructions; however, its life-long personal benefits are indisputable; people should take advantage of youth to have new experiences in new environments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays travel to variety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to study or to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
life. From my point of view, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a journey to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
significantly
advantage youth.

Firstly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will learn, research and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
a great deal about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. It is evident that cultural diversity exists even in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
;
however
, that difference
is shown
more
distinctly
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
for example
in language, history or religion. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has its advantages and disadvantages in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects,
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
those pros and cons will gain their knowledge on multiple sides of life
quickly
. From those points,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be easy to adapt
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, which is the main tendency nowadays.

Besides
, encountering obstacles and difficulties are inevitable when entering foreign places; through the challenges young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might face, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
self-training, which is the most efficient approach to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
;
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are forced
to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
abilities to adapt foreign situations.
For example
, communication
in general
, and language
in particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances to demonstrate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to other individuals who speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages;
hence
, their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
also
their confidence will be
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Moreover
, travelling is an excellent opportunity to grow networks;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
incredible valuable connections during their journey.

In conclusion
, it is true that travelling abroad contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obstructions;
however
, its life-long personal benefits are indisputable;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take advantage of youth to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environments.
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IELTS essay We should encourage young people to visit different countries as it could bring many benefits to them

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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