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background.Some people may hold the opinion that celebration and joyoce time is independent of the humans old and everyone could participate and experience equal happiness. Others, on the other hand, have negative attitude toward it. do you agree with whi

background. Some people may hold the opinion that celebration and joyoce time is independent of the humans old and everyone could participate and experience equal happiness. Others, on the other hand, have negative attitude toward it. do you agree with whi MM3ak
It is irrefutable that we live in a world which pastime and recreation, play an increasingly pivotal role in decreading the torpor and lethargy of the humans in any society. the issue of celebration for different situation arouses much controversy among people with different perspective and background. Some people may hold the opinion that celebration and joyoce time is independent of the humans old and everyone could be participate and experience equal happiness. Others, on the other hand, have negative attitude toward it. As far as I am concerned, I agree that the younger people pay more attention to the celebrations for example for the athletes in comparison to the older people. My arguments for this point are listed as follows. In the fiers place, the most important reason for me to choose this position is that the younger people have much energy to expense it during these celebrities. it goes without saying that, human during the aging lose its energy day by day. In another word the physical aspects of the humans reveals that the younger people has further energy and it makes them to take patr in more activities in contrast to the older peoples. For example, take a personal experience as an example. when I was in high school I used to go to the basketball match of our city and follow their plays until the end of the season. and one time they achived the first palce in our county, Kurdistan we toke part in their celebrities and i remembered the participant in this celebrity were apparent the young people and there were many bustle event that only the young people can create it. In the second place, that deserves some words here, the young people suffered scant arduous problems and they still far from the spacious situation they will experience in their life. futhermore, the activities such as jobs and paying attention to the family cost much time for the older people and prevents them to even having time to take part in celebrities freely. for instance, the older people want to be at home and watch celebrities in home rather than going out and watch it In conclusion, taking all of this points into account. I conclude that, the young people more take part in the celebrities and it is more important activities for them in contrast to the older peoples. Not only the young people have plentiful energy to expence it in such activities but also they have no important difficulties in their life and have more time to attend thiese celebrities
It is irrefutable that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world which pastime and recreation, play an
increasingly
pivotal role in
Possible spelling mistake found.
decreading
the torpor and lethargy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in any society.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
issue of celebration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
situation arouses much controversy among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective and background.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hold the opinion that celebration and
Possible spelling mistake found.
joyoce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is independent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and everyone could be
Consider using the past participle "participated"?
participate
and experience equal happiness. Others,
on the other hand
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude toward it. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more attention to the celebrations
for example
for the athletes
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. My arguments for this point
are listed
as follows.

In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fiers
place, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for me to choose this position is that the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to expense it during these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
goes without saying that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
during the aging lose its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
day by day. In another word the physical aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
reveals that the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to take
Possible spelling mistake found.
patr
in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
.
For example
, take a personal experience as an example.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
I was in high school I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to the basketball match of our city and follow their plays until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the season.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
achived
the
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
palce
in our county, Kurdistan we toke part in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
remembered the participant in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
were apparent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
bustle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can create it.

In the second place, that deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffered scant arduous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they
still
far from the spacious situation they will experience in their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
futhermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as jobs and paying attention to the family cost much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them to even having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
freely
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to be at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in home
rather
than going out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


In conclusion
, taking all of
Did you mean "these"?
this
points into account. I conclude that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for them
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have plentiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
expence
it in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
difficulties in their life and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to attend
Possible spelling mistake found.
thiese
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
celebrities
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IELTS essay background. Some people may hold the opinion that celebration and joyoce time is independent of the humans old and everyone could participate and experience equal happiness. Others, on the other hand, have negative attitude toward it. do you agree with whi

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
428 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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