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Children should be encouraged to play sports as it helps them later in th eir worklife.Some agree while others don't.Discuss both the views.

Children should be encouraged to play sports as it helps them later in th eir worklife. Some agree while others don't. bY3ag
Sports play a vital role in the overall development of children. A number of people opine that youngsters should be motivated to participate in such activities because this will be beneficial for them later in their professional life. However, many don't agree with this notion. This essay will discuss both views in detail. On the one hand, there are those who support the notion that these physical activities are advantageous for pupils. This is because sports not only helps them in their physical development but also teaches them discipline. For instance, Football, Cricket and other games almost require a team of 10 to 12 players and to fix a spot within the team, pupils are required to do intense practice and they often struggle as well to maintain their position with in the team. As a result, they get mentally and physically strong and this helps them to tackle all kind of situations in their life. On the other hand, there are those who believe the argument that youth should not waste their time in playing games because the number of opportunities is very limited in this sector and most of the players have to face financial issues due to unemployment. This is because, many professions need employees who are equipped with theoretical and practical knowledge, and for this one has to choose professional courses, like, medical, engineering and other technical courses. Moreover, many believe that students should focus on such courses because as per them, the world needs more engineers and doctors than players to alleviate the worsening conditions of society. In conclusion, one is important for personal growth while another view is crucial for professional growth. So both views are equally important as both have their merits and demerits.
Sports play a vital role in the
overall
development of children. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that youngsters should
be motivated
to participate in such activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will be beneficial for them later in their professional life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. This essay will discuss both views in detail.

On the one hand, there are those who support the notion that these physical activities are advantageous for pupils. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sports not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in their physical development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teaches them discipline.
For instance
, Football, Cricket and other games almost require a team of 10 to 12 players and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
a spot within the team, pupils
are required
to do intense
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practice and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
struggle
as well
to maintain their position with in the team.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mentally and
physically
strong and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to tackle all kind of situations in their life.

On the other hand
, there are those who believe the argument that youth should not waste their time in playing games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of opportunities is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited in this sector and most of the players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face financial issues due to unemployment. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professions need employees who
are equipped
with theoretical and practical knowledge, and for this one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
choose professional courses, like, medical, engineering and other technical courses.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that students should focus on such courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as per them, the world needs more engineers and doctors than players to alleviate the worsening conditions of society.

In conclusion
, one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for personal growth while another view is crucial for professional growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
both views are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as both have their merits and demerits.
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IELTS essay Children should be encouraged to play sports as it helps them later in th eir worklife. Some agree while others don't.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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