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We motivate the tools don't sad again, in here there are many tools to make friends and every once in a while someone comes to visit. Important is the tool to keep healthy, exercise and please be optimistic

We motivate the tools don't sad again, in here there are many tools to make friends and every once in a while someone comes to visit. Important is the tool to keep healthy, exercise and please be optimistic lq8lX
• Hello teacher, the First I wish the teacher have a nice day at work • Then, Let me tell you a little about myself • My name is Ai, I'am Sixteen years old. I'm From Viet Nam. I'm studying at Humada high school. My hobby is reading books, listening to music, joining the movement to plant trees and clean up trash in my school, trips to visit orphanages, nursing homes. • The civic education class that day. The teacher gave each group the task of visiting elderly people in nursing homes and remembering to take a photo and video to submit to her • After the class, which we discussed with each person a job and I was tasked to go buy bread, milk, rice for the elderly • We depart at 7 a. m and go 20 minutes later, we saw the nursing home and the tools stand waiting for us at the front door • As soon as they got off the motorbike, they shook hands with us and asked if we are tired from the long journey and if we had breakfast. I thought you guys have known us for a long time. I have a familiar feeling that I have seen it before. That's right, that's the family love that you guys have lost since coming here. They are warm, friendly, inquiry, look after. they make me feel touched. then the nurse asked them to come into their room so we could go and deliver the presents and sit down and talk to them • In the first room, we give them the tools for each gift. I found them very fun seemed a long time they have the feeling of being cherished. They asked us so many questions like what grade are you in? what do your parents do? where's is your house? and there are many more questions • We sat with the elderly to ask about their health and how to eat and we asked them why they came here. This is a delicate question so when I ask then smile turned off, the tool said with a sad voice, they no longer fun. I feel the majority of the reason is due to their far away, busy with work, nobody to take care of them and some families are not eligible to send in full remember people care of them • We motivate the tools don't sad again, in here there are many tools to make friends and every once in a while someone comes to visit. Important is the tool to keep healthy, exercise and please be optimistic • When we sat down to talk with the elders, invite them to take the picture, I feel to be here as a small family, lack of love needs to be looked after. Through this, I love my parents and grandparents more • I distinctly remember the tool told me that the child tries to learn later to have a stable job and taking care of parents don't let your parents in here, it is miserable. Listen to here I am brimming with tears and felt the tool a lot. when they were young. They worked hard to bring up their two children when they are elderly • shall not be allowed to live near family • This is only a small thing in the volunteer work community. But I feel very happy because did is work that benefits society • I am very happy because I have been confidences and understood better about the elderly and my mother told me that doing good and good will come to you • While making this video I missed and How do they live during the covid season? • I hope the covid pandemic is over so we can visit elderly
• Hello teacher, the
First
I wish the teacher have a nice day at work

• Then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
about myself

• My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ai
, I'am Sixteen years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. I'm From
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam. I'm studying at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Humada
high school. My hobby is reading books, listening to music, joining the movement to plant trees and clean up trash in my school, trips to visit orphanages, nursing homes.

• The civic education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
that day. The teacher gave each group the task of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in nursing homes and remembering to take a photo and video to submit to her

• After the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, which we discussed with each person a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
I
was tasked
to go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
bread, milk, rice for the elderly

• We depart at 7 a. m and go 20 minutes later, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the nursing home and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
stand waiting for us at the front door

• As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
off the motorbike, they shook hands with us and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
if we
are tired
from the long journey and if we had breakfast. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
you guys have known us for a long time. I have a familiar feeling that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. That's right, that's the family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that you guys have lost since coming here. They are warm, friendly, inquiry, look after.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
touched.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
the nurse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into their room
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we could go and deliver the presents and sit down and talk to them

• In the
first
room, we give them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
for each gift. I found them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fun seemed a long time they have the feeling of
being cherished
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions like what grade are you in?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do?
Did you mean "where is"?
where's is
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
?
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more questions

• We sat with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to ask about their health and how to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eat and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
them why they came here. This is a delicate question
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when I ask then smile turned off, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
said with a sad voice, they no longer fun. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
the majority of the reason is due to their far away, busy with work, nobody to take care of them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families are not eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
in full remember
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
care of them

• We motivate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
don't sad again, in here there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tools
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and every once in a while someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to visit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy, exercise and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
be optimistic

• When we sat down to talk with the elders, invite them to take the picture, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
to be here as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
family, lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
needs to
be looked
after. Through this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grandparents more

• I
distinctly
remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that the child tries to learn later to have a stable job and taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in here, it is miserable. Listen to here I am brimming with tears and felt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
a lot.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
they were young. They worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to bring up their two children when they are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
elderly


• shall not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
near family

• This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
thing in the volunteer work community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
did is work that benefits society

• I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have been confidences and understood better about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
and my mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you

• While making this video I missed and How do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
during the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
season?

• I hope the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic is over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
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IELTS essay We motivate the tools don't sad again, in here there are many tools to make friends and every once in a while someone comes to visit. Important is the tool to keep healthy, exercise and please be optimistic

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
619 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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