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IELTS writing academic essay

IELTS writing academic essay BLmbX
There are a wealth of people who are definitely sure that it is crucial to permit kids to make some simple decisions by themselves, others suppose to think that such way children will grow up selfish. First of all, allowing the younger generation to control some aspects of their lives can be a great way to make them wiser and more independent. Moreover, decisions made by teens are frequently wrong, consequently making up their mind they can make some mistakes but get valuable experience that will be useful in the future. Secondly, solving problems, the result of which depends only on them, they improve their soft skills such as control of emotions, communication skills and so on. On the other hand, there are also some drawbacks of such education. To begin with, if youth choose whatever they want they can become egoistic because after some time they won't pay attention to other people's preferences, making their chois. Thus, our society can become more selfish which can lead to huge problems. Furthermore, permanent allowance of doing things children want can reduce the level of respect for parents, which can make little ones undercontrolled. To sum up, I consider that all aspects of teens' education should be well balanced. I think that mothers and fathers should permit their kids to control some parts of their lives, but also create several limits which will prevent the appearance of harmful features of pupils' character.
There are a wealth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are definitely sure that it is crucial to permit kids to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple decisions by themselves, others suppose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such way children will grow up selfish.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, allowing the younger generation to control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
can be a great way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them wiser and more independent.
Moreover
, decisions made by teens are
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
,
consequently
making up their mind they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mistakes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
valuable experience that will be useful in the future.
Secondly
, solving problems, the result of which depends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on them, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as control of emotions, communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

On the other hand
, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of such education. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if youth choose whatever they want they can become egoistic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time they won't pay attention to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's preferences, making their
Possible spelling mistake found.
chois
.
Thus
, our society can become more selfish which can lead to huge problems.
Furthermore
, permanent allowance of doing things children want can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of respect for parents, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones
Possible spelling mistake found.
undercontrolled
.

To sum up, I consider that all aspects of teens' education should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well balanced
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that mothers and fathers should permit their kids to control
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
create several limits which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the appearance of harmful features of pupils' character.
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IELTS essay IELTS writing academic essay

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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