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We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss. y5g3
The advancement of technology is thought to be helpful for communicating and connecting yet there are adverse effects which cause a number of people to feel less pleased and are more distant in life. This development has become debatable and will be discussed whether it is more beneficial to the society or not in this essay. The Internet, one of the cutting-edge technologies, has brought numerous benefits to humans. People can stay in touch with their families and friends or make new relationships in every part of the world at their convenience by chatting and calling video through phones. Consequently, this may overcome the isolation and loneliness since it gives people the ability to interact despite the distance. For example, social media and dating websites have helped people to deal with the quarantine caused by Covid-19 by letting them socialize online. In addition, the internet allows businesses to have virtual meetings with international clients that can cut the cost of traveling and accommodation. Nevertheless, while depending mostly on devices to connect with each other, some have experienced a lack of physical contact and close relationships which can lead to emotional issues and suicidal. According to the World Health Organization, individuals are 70% more likely to suffer from depression when they are obsessed with using computers and phones than to be present in real life. Moreover, owing to the fact that virtually every data can be traced on the internet, cybercrime would happen. The personal information might be used for purposes which are against the will of the owners and this would lead to anxiety since the users are aware that they are not safe. In sum, despite that people are living in an electronic information era where communicating is quick and fast, excessive use of it can lead to depression and the violation of privacy.
The advancement of technology is
thought
to be helpful for communicating and connecting
yet
there are adverse effects which cause a number of
people
to feel less
pleased
and are more distant in life. This development has become debatable and will
be discussed
whether it is more beneficial to the society or not in this essay.

The Internet, one of the cutting-edge technologies, has brought numerous benefits to humans.
People
can stay in touch with their families and friends or
make
new relationships in every part of the world at their convenience by chatting and calling video through phones.
Consequently
, this may overcome the isolation and loneliness since it gives
people
the ability to interact despite the distance.
For example
, social media and dating websites have
helped
people
to deal with the quarantine caused by Covid-19 by letting them socialize online.
In addition
, the internet
allows
businesses to have virtual meetings with international clients that can
cut
the cost of traveling and accommodation.

Nevertheless
, while depending
mostly
on devices to connect with each other,
some
have experienced a lack of physical contact and close relationships which can lead to emotional issues and suicidal. According to the World Health Organization, individuals are 70% more likely to suffer from depression when they
are obsessed
with using computers and phones than to be present in real life.
Moreover
, owing to the fact that
virtually
every data can
be traced
on the internet, cybercrime would happen. The personal information might be
used
for purposes which are against the will of the owners and this would lead to anxiety since the users are aware that they are not safe.

In sum, despite that
people
are living in an electronic information era where communicating is quick and
fast
, excessive
use
of it can lead to depression and the violation of privacy.
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IELTS essay We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem no closer to feeling happy in their lives. Discuss.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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