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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities. Do you agree or disagree

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities. PXoMJ
There are widely various views on the issues that we should not help everyone in the world as long as there are problems in our own society. Personally, I disagree with this statement thus we should help many people as possible. On the one hand, it is undeniable that national problems should be the top priorities to deal with because it involves directly to the local people's life. For example, when a serious flood occurs in some central region of VN such as Quang Binh, others Vietnamese regions assist this place to overcome by variety of ways, from donating clothing to serving free food in a soup kitchen. In addition, facing with the increase of poverty residents, government can execute cheap money policy which encourage the poor start their own business. Therefore, this can bridge the gap between the rich and poor. On the other hand, there are several reasons that we should take care people who live beyond our national borders. Firstly, some countries are facing problem which are more serious than ours. For instance, children are dying from curable diseases in African nations that citizens from wealthy countries can save lives by simply paying for vaccines that are already available. The second reason is that we are all human being and inhabitants of this planet so nations should be interdependent on each other. As the result, helping others means support ourselves which make a prosperous and developmental society. In particular, in terms of environmental challenges, wealthier countries such as the US and the UK assist developing countries such as Vietnam and Laos in reducing CO2 emissions, which helps to decrease global warming. In conclusion, I accept that we cannot be concerned all about matter of each individual. However, due to mutual benefit, national boundaries should not stop us from helping those who are in need.
There are
widely
various views on the issues that we should not
help
everyone in the world as long as there are problems in our
own
society.
Personally
, I disagree with this statement
thus
we should
help
many
people
as possible.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that national problems should be the top priorities to deal with
because
it involves
directly
to the local
people
's life.
For example
, when a serious flood occurs in
some
central region of VN such as
Quang
Binh
, others Vietnamese regions assist this place to overcome by variety of ways, from donating clothing to serving free food in a soup kitchen.
In addition
, facing with the increase of poverty residents,
government
can execute
cheap
money policy which encourage the poor
start
their
own
business.
Therefore
, this can bridge the gap between the rich and poor.

On the
other
hand, there are several reasons that we should take care
people
who
live
beyond our national borders.
Firstly
,
some
countries
are facing problem which are more serious than ours.
For instance
, children are dying from curable diseases in African nations that citizens from wealthy
countries
can save
lives
by
simply
paying for vaccines that are already available. The second reason is that we are all human being and inhabitants of this planet
so
nations should be interdependent on each
other
. As the result, helping others means support ourselves which
make
a prosperous and developmental society.
In particular
, in terms of environmental challenges, wealthier
countries
such as the US and the UK assist developing
countries
such as Vietnam and Laos in reducing CO2 emissions, which
helps
to decrease global warming.

In conclusion
, I accept that we cannot
be concerned
all about matter of each individual.
However
, due to mutual benefit, national boundaries should not
stop
us from helping those who are in need.
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IELTS essay We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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