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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is important. what might be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is important. what might be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation? rk9Kl
It is considered to be very important to own the property in which one lives with his family. Due to human natural instincts individual always gravitate towards idea of owning the home, and it is very positive in economic perspective because it will lead to building more houses that will eventually create more jobs. Home is very important to one’s identity and personal satisfaction and it can be very economic too. It is a fact that owning a property is very essential for social, economic status in societies. In addition; it can be less expensive and stress less because one will not have to pay the rent to landlord each month. The result of human natural desire and economic benefits of owning property are the reason why people believe owning the home to be important. Having Significant developments in real estate industry, it not only create job to boast economy but also lead to better live standards. Easy installments have made it possible for an average income families to purchase the house on multiple payments. Developing more residential societies with modern needs not only generates job for people but it also modernize the living standards of the people. One always choose to own his home rather renting one because of human nature and economic factors and this trend is considered to positive because it will result in building of new houses and modern residential areas which plays important role in country’s economy.
It
is considered
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
the property in which one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with his family.

Due to human natural instincts individual always gravitate towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the home, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
perspective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to building more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
that will
eventually
create more jobs.

Home is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to one’s identity and personal satisfaction and it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
too.

It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
a property is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for social,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
status in societies. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
; it can be less expensive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the rent to landlord each month.

The result of human natural desire and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
property are the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owning
the home to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Having Significant developments in real estate industry, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create job to boast economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lead to better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
standards. Easy installments have made it possible for an average income families to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on multiple payments. Developing more residential societies with modern needs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generates job for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "modernizes"?
modernize
the living standards of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One always choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
his home
rather
renting one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
factors and this trend
is considered
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will result in building of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and modern residential areas which plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in country’s economy.
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IELTS essay In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is important. what might be the case? Do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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