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We can see more disasters and violence shows on tv . What are effects on individual and society.

We can see more disasters and violence shows on tv. What are effects on individual and society. jMQ1
In the 21st century, since the rapid advancement of technology, violence and disasters programs is great influence among people and society. In this essay, I will discuss several effects of these shows. To embark on, there are multifarious reasons behind this notions. Firstly, when they watch that kinds of show on TV. Then, it also produces ballistic, exhausted and many more. Sometime, they can commit crime while in violent behavior and it will distroy their future. To exemplify, young birds are affected by mental illness from watching violent shows. Apart from this, by assuming disasters programs. It may create the irritate behavior in women and children's life. To eleborate this idea, myriad older citizens are suffering from heart diseases along with when they see those programs on television. At that time, they may face the heart attacks, even death also. As a result, it has negative consequences on society and people also. Probing further, in the society, crime rate will be increasing by watching such felony videos. To illustrate it, sometime, youngesters would see that programs on TV. They immitate every idea in the light fact that this age is very innocence. They also disobedience their elders. Consequently, they would do rude manner in front of parents, society, teachers and olders also. In conclusion, I would like to infer that authority ought to be prohibited this programs on electronic gadgets such as television by the help of sensor board which cause gloomy and angry in human being.
In the 21st century, since the rapid advancement of technology, violence and disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
is great influence among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In this essay, I will discuss several effects of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. To embark on, there are multifarious reasons behind
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this
notions.
Firstly
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
that kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
on TV. Then, it
also
produces ballistic, exhausted and
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many
more. Sometime, they can commit crime while in violent behavior and it will
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distroy
their future. To exemplify, young birds are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by mental illness from watching violent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. Apart from this, by assuming disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
. It may create
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'irritate' is correct. If 'irritate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the irritate
behavior in women and children's life. To
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eleborate
this
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idea
, myriad older citizens are suffering from heart diseases along with when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those
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programs
on television. At that time, they may face the heart attacks, even death
also
.
As a result
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on
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society
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
. Probing
further
, in the
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society
, crime rate will be increasing by watching such felony videos. To illustrate it, sometime,
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youngesters
would
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see
that
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programs
on TV. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
immitate
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in the light fact that this age is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
innocence. They
also
disobedience their elders.
Consequently
, they would do rude manner in front of parents,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, teachers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
olders
also
.
In conclusion
, I would like to infer that authority ought to
be prohibited
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on electronic gadgets such as television by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of sensor board which cause gloomy and angry in human being.
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IELTS essay We can see more disasters and violence shows on tv. What are effects on individual and society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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