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we are seeing a significant increase in online shopping today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples(revised version) v.2

we are seeing a significant increase in online shopping today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples(revised version) v. 2
Online shopping or E - commerce is the one of the fastest growing industries in the world. After the introduction of information technology and worldwide web, the world has witnessed revolutionary changes in almost all the areas of business. One among them is the purchase and sale of goods, earlier it was only possible by going to the concerned shops physically. But now thing are entirely changed people can buy items from their home just by using a gadget which has access to the internet and the items will be delivered at the door step within a short time. This way of dealing with goods has some advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, it' s main attraction is convenience, individuals can buy any goods from anywhere. Nowadays people are very busy with their life, always trying hard to find balance with their personal and professional life. So they don' t get enough time to go mover to shop and buy items of their preference. Furthermore, when you are purchasing from an online people don' t need to go to each and every shop toby different goods. They get very items under one roof whether it is stationery or electronics or clothings, the list is never ending. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well. First and foremost, the buyers can not ensure the genuinity of the product. Some times customers may get totally different items than their actual orders. For instance, the Indian E- commerce giant flip cart is being sued recently sued for delivering false products. Moreover, when individuals do financial transactions of purchases over these websites, they are putting their financial credentials at risk because of lack of adequate security measures. On top of that, this kind of shopping is not adequate fee some products like apparels and footwear' s. Such items need to be tested physically without actually purchasing it, in order to get get the correct size and fit. In my opinion, this is definitely a positive trend. Just like every practice, this system also has some drawbacks but the advantages are clearly outweighing the disadvanges.
Online shopping or E
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
commerce is the one of the fastest growing industries in the world. After the introduction of information technology and worldwide web, the world has witnessed revolutionary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in almost all the areas of business. One among them is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
and sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, earlier it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible by going to the concerned shops
physically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
thing are
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from their home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by using a gadget which has access to the internet and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
will
be delivered
at the door step within a short time. This way of dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s main attraction is convenience, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from anywhere. Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy with their life, always trying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to find balance with their personal and professional life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to go mover to shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of their preference.
Furthermore
, when you are purchasing from an online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t need to go to each and every shop
Possible spelling mistake found.
toby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
under one roof whether it is
Did you mean "stationary" (= immobile/unchanged) instead of 'stationery' (= materials for writing)?
stationery
or electronics or
Possible spelling mistake found.
clothings
, the list is never ending.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages
as well
.
First
and foremost, the buyers can not ensure the
Possible spelling mistake found.
genuinity
of the product.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
times customers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
than their actual orders.
For instance
, the Indian E- commerce giant flip cart is
being sued
recently sued for delivering false products.
Moreover
, when individuals do financial transactions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
over these websites, they are putting their financial credentials at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of adequate security measures.
On top of that
, this kind of shopping is not adequate fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
products like apparels and
Possible spelling mistake found.
footwear&
#039; s. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
physically
without actually purchasing it, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the correct size and fit.

In my opinion, this is definitely a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
like every practice, this system
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages are
clearly
outweighing the
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadvanges
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay we are seeing a significant increase in online shopping today. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give your opinion and relevant examples(revised version) v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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