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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits.

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits. yn1M
Computer is the machine which is used in almost everywhere and many things have been made easy by it. Therefore, people are depending on computers whether it is related to their business or to operate airplanes moreover, also crimes are solved by them. I think it is a positive way to be dependent on computers so much and this essay will discuss about the various things which will be done by the computers. To begin with, in the upcoming time several things will be managed by the computing machines such as in manufacturing industries, agriculture, hospitals and many more. Since, some specific applications which are being planned to be launched by the engineers, will be able to make the replicas of the spares parts of various machines. Moreover, these days cultivation machines are operated by the individuals however, approximately after a decade it would be commanded by the computer softwares. In addition to it, not only diseases are diagnosed by the radiographic machines but also in the upcoming era they would be treated with the help of computers. Furthermore, as computers have made many difficult tasks extremely easy and also the time is saved by using it therefore, people prefer to work by computing machines. In many nations the banks and some government offices have computers because large calculations are done in a couple of seconds whereas, an individual may take atleast a week to do so. Apart from it, almost every private sectors use web cam on computers to communicate with their clients who live at distant and to deal with the international companies and hence they have to be dependent on the computers. To conclude, the computers have lots of benefits because it makes the workload easier and also the environment is benefited by the reducing of cutting down of trees to manufacture papers. Therefore, computers are being used more and more by the public.
Computer is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in almost everywhere and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things have
been made
easy by it.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on computers whether it
is related
to their business or to operate airplanes
moreover
,
also
crimes
are solved
by them. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way to be dependent on computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much and this essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
various things which will
be done
by the computers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the upcoming time several things will
be managed
by the computing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
such as in manufacturing industries, agriculture, hospitals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific applications which are
being planned
to
be launched
by the engineers, will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the replicas of the spares parts of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
Moreover
, these days cultivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are operated
by the individuals
however
, approximately after a decade it would
be commanded
by the computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
.
In addition
to it, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diseases
are diagnosed
by the radiographic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the upcoming era they would
be treated
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computers.

Furthermore
, as computers have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficult tasks
extremely
easy and
also
the time
is saved
by using it
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to work by computing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations the banks and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
offices have computers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
large calculations
are done
in a couple of seconds whereas, an individual may take
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
a week to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Apart from it, almost every private sectors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This word is normally spelled as one.
web cam
on computers to communicate with their clients who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at distant and to deal with the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
hence
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be dependent on the computers.

To conclude
, the computers have lots of benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the workload easier and
also
the environment
is benefited
by the reducing of cutting down of trees to manufacture papers.
Therefore
, computers are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more and more by the public.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, hospitals, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used in the future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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