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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer 2nMk
These days, the environment is being severely affected by the excessive use of nonrenewable energy resources, such as petrol, diesel, coal and natural gas. However, eco-friendly and renewable power sources like wind and solar power are being adopted in many countries, and I wholeheartedly think that it is a positive trend. To begin with, many nations have already made a firm decision to regain the balance of our planet and to achieve that, they have made significant modifications in their system. Firstly, the implementation of windmills and hydroelectric plants are gaining popularity at a rapid pace. This is a secure way of generating electricity that saves the environment and money, and leads the way to a future when clean energy will be predominant in the world. For instance, Croatia is setting an example for its neighbouring countries by generating seventy per cent of its energy from solar power. This is a very positive development that other countries can follow to contribute to make the world green again. Additionally, the major advantage of utilising these alternative resources is that it greatly reduces the carbon content from the environment and makes the planet more sustainable. Moreover, it is cheaper to produce such clean energy than extracting coal or natural gas which makes these eco-friendly energies affordable to mass people. A recent study by Oxford University reveals that production of solar power is 30% cheaper than that of fossil fuel. This finding again emphasizes how important it is for all nations to opt for renewable energy sources, and how beneficial it is that many countries have already invested in generating clean power. In conclusion, even though we have harmed our Mother Nature to a great extend by indiscriminately using fossil fuels, some countries have already shown us a better way to produce and use that. It is expected that more countries will invest in alternative sources of energy to make the planet green again and to make energy affordable for all.
These days, the environment is being
severely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of nonrenewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
resources, such as petrol, diesel, coal and natural gas.
However
, eco-friendly and renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
sources like wind and solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
are
being adopted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, and I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations have already made a firm decision to regain the balance of our planet and to achieve that, they have made significant modifications in their system.
Firstly
, the implementation of windmills and hydroelectric plants are gaining popularity at a rapid pace. This is a secure way of generating electricity that saves the environment and money, and leads the way to a future when clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
will be predominant in the world.
For instance
, Croatia is setting an example for its
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by generating seventy per cent of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
from solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can follow to contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the world green again.

Additionally
, the major advantage of
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
these alternative resources is that it
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the carbon content from the environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the planet more sustainable.
Moreover
, it is cheaper to produce such clean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
than extracting coal or natural gas which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
these eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
affordable to mass
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. A recent study by Oxford University reveals that production of solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is 30% cheaper than that of fossil fuel. This finding again emphasizes how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
it is for all nations to opt for renewable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources, and how beneficial it is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have already invested in generating clean power.

In conclusion
,
even though
we have harmed our Mother Nature to a great
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
by
indiscriminately
using fossil fuels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have already shown us a better way to produce and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will invest in alternative sources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the planet green again and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
affordable for all.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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