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We are becoming increasing dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future. Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

Nowadays, Computer has become a basic necessity of our daily routine. We can not think about spending our days without it. We are heavily rely on computer bases technology. This topic have several merits and demerits which are explained in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, computer has become the basic necessary of our day to day life. Nowadays, everything has been modernized to the advance technology such as schools, hospitals and airports. One can book his ticket sitting at home. A teacher can teach plenty of students at one time using the computer from any corner of the world. In banks all the data is saved on the server of computer it can reduced the use of paper. Moreover, using robot maid can be resulted helpful in house Chores. One can also buy things online using computer sitting at home. Apart from this, increasing use of computer will create unemployment on great margin. As every work will done by the machine then the less number of people will get employeed. Bank contains all the details of the account holder on the server one can hack this server and can stole all the money. Moreover, fraud cases in online shopping is also observed. Because of computer, it had made life easier but also sedentary which can affect a persons health. Nowadays, children prefers to play games on computer rather than going out and playing in the garden. Moreover, children get astray to wrong deeds by over use of computer. To conclude, machine are essential as it makes life easy. However, it is important to beaware of whether the technology is under our control or we are under controlled by technology.
Nowadays, Computer has become a basic necessity of our daily routine. We can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about spending our days without it. We are
heavily
rely on computer bases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. This topic
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “has”.
have
several merits and demerits
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
which


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, computer has become the basic necessary of our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. Nowadays, everything has
been modernized
to the advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
such as schools, hospitals and airports. One can book his ticket sitting at home. A teacher can teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of students at one time using the computer from any corner of the world. In banks all the data
is saved
on the server of computer it can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
reduced
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of paper.
Moreover
, using robot maid can
be resulted
helpful in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
Chores. One can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things online using computer sitting at home.

Apart from this, increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer will create unemployment on great margin.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
every work will done by the machine then the less number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
employeed
. Bank contains all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of the account holder on the server one can hack this server and can
The modal verb ‘can’ requires the verb’s base form.
stole
all the money.
Moreover
, fraud cases in online shopping is
also
observed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of computer, it had made life easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
sedentary which can affect a
An apostrophe may be missing.
persons
health. Nowadays, children prefers to play games on computer
rather
than going out and playing in the garden.
Moreover
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
astray to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
deeds by over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer.

To conclude
, machine are essential as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life easy.
However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
beaware
of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is under our
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
control or
we are under controlled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasing dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future. Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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