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Many people believe that today is a general increase in antisocial behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation ? How to improve it?

Nowadays, Individuals claim that, behavioral of anti-socialness and disrespect full towards other is increasing day by day. The issue, antisocial behavior and lack of respect generated by many reasons. This essay will discuss the reasons and how to deal with this problems. In the first segment, I will discuss some of situations which motive this problems. Firstly, people might have lack of education. Because, Education is base of building personality, that teach how to behave. if person is not educated, as result they might have wrong mentality, and this causes anti-social and disrespectful behaviors. For instance, children have been taught in their schools to respect other, to what to do for better life. Secondly, person, he/she have a family issues, that thing depressing them. As a result, it is more likely to have that kind of behavior. They might have addictive towards drug use. Thirdly, Overwhelming working ours, From this reason a person don't have enough time for socialness, for their family, for their children. Because of this persons behavior become anti social and disrespectful. This are main reasons for causing this situation. In the second paragraph, I will suggest a solutions that can improve damaged situation. To began with, The parents must have to take care of their children, whether it is about their education, Friends, their behaviors. In addition, i will suggest that, the government should take actions of working hours of people. As a result, A person will have more time to his/her life. Also we can campaign about awareness of anti-socialness. So, the unaware people might get idea how to behave, how to act in front of others. This are the possible solution I can suggest. In closing, I would like to pen down that, in the race of the modern world, we should not forget our moral values and responsibility, because it cause negative effect on the world and the next generation.
Nowadays, Individuals claim that, behavioral of
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anti-socialness
and disrespect full towards other is increasing day by day. The issue, antisocial
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behavior
and lack of respect generated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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reasons
. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and how to deal with
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘problems’. Did you mean “these”?
this
problems.

In the
first
segment, I will discuss
After ‘some of’, you should use ‘the’ (“some of the situations”) or simply say “some situations”.
some of situations
which motive
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘problems’. Did you mean “these”?
this
problems.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have lack of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, Education is base of building personality, that teach how to behave.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is not educated, as result they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
mentality, and this causes anti-social and disrespectful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
For instance
, children have
been taught
in their schools to respect other, to what to do for better life.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, he/she have a family issues, that thing depressing them.
As a result
, it is more likely to have that kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have addictive towards drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Thirdly
, Overwhelming working ours, From this
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reason
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
don't have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for
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socialness
, for their family, for their children.
Because of this
An apostrophe may be missing.
persons
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behavior
become
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social
and disrespectful.
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural verb ‘are’. Did you mean “these”?
This
are main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for causing this situation.

In the second paragraph, I will suggest
The plural noun “solutions” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a solution” or “solutions”?
a solutions
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
damaged situation. To began with, The parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of their children, whether it is about their education, Friends, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
.
In addition
,
Did you mean “I”?
i
will suggest that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take actions of working hours of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will have more time to his/her life.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we can campaign about awareness of
Possible spelling mistake found.
anti-socialness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the unaware
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how to behave, how to act in front of others.
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural verb ‘are’. Did you mean “these”?
This
are the possible solution I can suggest.

In closing, I would like to pen down that, in the race of the modern world, we should not forget our moral values and responsibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “causes”.
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the world and the
next
generation.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that today is a general increase in antisocial behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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