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Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

These days many people work in order to afford the cost of the education. But, working often result in shortage of time for study and put students under pressure. In this essay I will discuss the problems associated with working while studying and suggest some solutions. There are many students who works when they study. The main reason for working during education time is poverty or mostly youngsters nowadays want to be independent in every aspects of their life. And the idea behind of it is to support themselves to achieve the education level they have targeted. However, students who work during study time will face lack of time. As a result, they will not be able to accomplish the task they are assigned to by the teachers or do research or even review the notes and lectures presented in the class. Even during exams and test they are obligated to work by the employers. Despite of experience and money they gain, students who work while studying will find themselves under pressure due to the shortage of time, and that will lead them to depression, anxiety, insomnia and other illnesses. This will make the students exhausted and they will lose the interest for the education. Having looked at the question, personally, I suggest that students should focus only on one part of their lives. In other hand, the government and the parents should take one step ahead and support study eager students to achieve the goals they want. The government should provide free educational system for the young generation or provide them more facilities for example educational loan which will help the students to focus only on the education.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to afford the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
result in shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
under pressure. In this essay I will discuss the problems associated with working while studying and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
Did you mean “work”? Alternatively, check whether the singular of ‘students’ should be used.
works
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. The main reason for working during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is poverty or
mostly
youngsters nowadays want to be independent in every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “aspect”?
aspects
of their life. And the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
behind of it is to support themselves to achieve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
level they have targeted.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
will face lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
As a result
, they will not be able to accomplish the task they
are assigned
to by the teachers or do research or even review the notes and lectures presented in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Even during exams and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
they
are obligated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by the employers.

Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
experience and money they gain,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while studying will find themselves under pressure due to the shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and that will lead them to depression, anxiety, insomnia and other illnesses. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exhausted and
they will lose the interest for the education.

Having looked at the question,
personally
, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on one part of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In other hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the parents should take one step ahead and support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
eager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to achieve the goals they want. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide free educational system for the young generation or provide them more facilities
for example
educational loan which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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