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We all have faults. Describe a personal characteristic that you have improved over the last two years. How did you make this improvement?

We all have faults. Describe a personal characteristic that you have improved over the last two years. How did you make this improvement? r6yao
The last two years were a rollercoaster for me, a teenager, as much as it was for others. Not knowing how to handle these feelings I have never experienced ever in my life, a shock. And I am not ashamed to admit that It was purgatory. And because of these changes, I noticed that my usual persona had rotated 180 degrees. After not knowing the root of this problem, I decided to try something new, change my routine up a bit. I told my friend about this dance company I had seen on Instagram. The next day, we went to a trial lesson. It was actually the first time I had felt good in a while. Then, we signed up for a monthly trial. I liked everything about that dance company, but that feeling was still there. I had almost given up on dancing until we went to a different dance coach. One day, she hosted a masterclass to select the best dancers and make a closed, private group. Thirty people there wanted to be in her group. After a week, a text message popped up on my phone screen saying that I got in. The joy that I felt was like none other. I have been on her team ever since. The amount of encouragement, motivation she gave us helped me become the person I am today. Because of her, I had gotten so much more confident: not only in my physical appearance but also, mental health. I have realized that confidence plays such a big role in a person's mental health. And so, this had been the personal trait I was missing. It had helped me improve my persona: being comfortable in my skin, not caring about what others think, therefore, making me happy.
The last two years were a
rollercoaster
for me, a
teenager
, as much as it was for others. Not knowing how to handle these feelings I have never experienced ever in my life, a shock. And I am not ashamed to admit that It was purgatory. And
because
of these
changes
, I noticed that my usual persona had rotated 180 degrees.

After not knowing the root of this problem, I decided to try something new,
change
my routine up a bit. I
told
my friend about this dance
company
I had
seen
on Instagram. The
next
day, we went to a trial lesson. It was actually the
first
time I had felt
good
in a while. Then, we signed up for a monthly trial. I liked everything about that dance
company
,
but
that feeling was
still
there. I had almost
given
up on dancing until we went to a
different
dance coach. One day, she hosted a masterclass to select the best dancers and
make
a closed, private group. Thirty
people
there wanted to be in her group. After a week, a text message popped up on my phone screen saying that I
got
in. The joy that I felt was like none other. I have been on her team ever since.

The amount of encouragement, motivation she gave us
helped
me become the person I am
today
.
Because
of her, I had gotten
so
much more confident: not
only
in my physical appearance
but
also
, mental health. I have realized that confidence plays such a
big
role in a person's mental health. And
so
, this had been the personal trait I was missing. It had
helped
me
improve
my persona: being comfortable in my skin, not caring about what others
think
,
therefore
, making me happy.
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IELTS essay We all have faults. Describe a personal characteristic that you have improved over the last two years. How did you make this improvement?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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