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Fewer citizens go to their local museums and galleries than ever before. What are the causes of this? What can be done about this?

Fewer citizens go to their local museums and galleries than ever before. What are the causes of this? What can be done about this? DoKwm
There are many factors to indicate why gender discrimination in the workplace still remains one of the most serious problems nowadays, despite the positive shift of social prejudice against women. Involving in maternity leave payment, many people believe that small businesses should not hire single female employees in order to entirely remove this future expense. This essay will provide reasons to refute the aforementioned statement. Considering a long-term profit, it is undeniable that the revenue young women bring to small companies can far exceed the expense of maternity leave. Since there are no burdens or distractions bothering these employees, not only they can concentrate more on their works but also they tend to have better productivities compared to the married ones. Moreover, because the trend of delaying marriage is rising around the globe, especially in America, the period that women can fully spend on working is longer than ever. For instance, if wedded women have to consistently worry about daily matters such as the health of their children or resolving family conflicts, single women do not have these issues, thus giving them personal freedom and allowing them to invest their entire ability to develop a future career. For short-term benefits, small companies are more likely to have an easier negotiation with a low salary to young women staff compared to married ones. While women who already have their own family have to worry about daily expenses thus require corporations to offer them a higher income, young females often care about prospects that their occupation brings, therefore they tend to accept a low-paid job for its future benefits. This will significantly reduce the amount of money that small companies have to carry, especially for entrepreneurs, thus allowing them to invest in further development. In essence, the notion that small companies should reject any application from single women is what I strongly disagree with. They should focus more on future benefits that hiring young female employees brings rather than just pay attention to the expense that has little effect on the existence of their businesses
There are
many
factors to indicate why gender discrimination in the workplace
still
remains one of the most serious problems nowadays, despite the
positive
shift of social prejudice against
women
. Involving in maternity
leave
payment,
many
people
believe that
small
businesses should not hire single female employees in order to
entirely
remove this
future
expense
. This essay will provide reasons to refute the aforementioned statement.

Considering a long-term profit, it is undeniable that the revenue
young
women
bring to
small
companies
can far exceed the
expense
of maternity
leave
. Since there are no burdens or distractions bothering these employees, not
only
they can concentrate more on their works
but
also
they tend to have better
productivities
compared to the married
ones
.
Moreover
,
because
the trend of delaying marriage is rising around the globe,
especially
in America, the period that
women
can
fully
spend on working is longer than ever.
For instance
, if wedded
women
have to
consistently
worry about daily matters such as the health of their children or resolving family conflicts, single
women
do not have these issues,
thus
giving them personal freedom and allowing them to invest their entire ability to develop a
future
career.

For short-term benefits,
small
companies
are more likely to have an easier negotiation with a low salary to
young
women
staff compared to married
ones
. While
women
who already have their
own
family
have to
worry about daily expenses
thus
require corporations to offer them a higher income,
young
females
often
care about prospects that their occupation brings,
therefore
they tend to accept a low-paid job for its
future
benefits. This will
significantly
reduce
the amount of money that
small
companies
have to
carry,
especially
for entrepreneurs,
thus
allowing them to invest in
further
development.

In essence, the notion that
small
companies
should reject any application from single
women
is what I
strongly
disagree with. They should focus more on
future
benefits that hiring
young
female employees brings
rather
than
just
pay attention to the
expense
that has
little
effect on the existence of their
businesses
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IELTS essay Fewer citizens go to their local museums and galleries than ever before. What are the causes of this? What can be done about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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