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Ways to improve a person’s knowledge and experience

Ways to improve a person’s knowledge and experience Vrma7
As the famous saying goes, "Experience is the best teacher. " A person's life can change based on their life experiences. While some people are involved in philanthropy and are learning life experiences, others are focusing on their own goals. From my own view, volunteering in charity plays a vital role in shaping a person's life. When you start doing this kind of task, you get to interact with a majority of people in your life. Then, you will improve your social and relationship skills. You will get new experiences for your own career. As it is never too late to learn something new, volunteering in charitable events is an immense and great way to build up a unique skill and discern something you are good at. When we say joining a dancing group, we may think that it's just a fun activity to release your stress. All human beings love to dance. In every culture and every region, dance is a part of life. From recent researches and discoveries, it shows that dancing is not only instinctual, it is also a way to stay in good physical shape and in high spirits at every stage of life. Nevertheless, there are still many people who are just giving a centre of attention to his or her studies or work. This is also a way for them to improve their lives by gaining experience and knowledge, either through letters or consular work. For me, instead of working at my cluttered desk, I would prefer working with people in the outside world to gain information and experience. Therefore, in conclusion, I would like to invite other people to participate in extra‐curricular activities such as volunteering in charitable events or joining dance groups that will give you both happiness and knowledge.
As the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
saying goes,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Experience is the best teacher.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
A person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
based on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are involved
in philanthropy and are learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, others are focusing on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goals.

From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, volunteering in charity plays a vital role in shaping a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. When you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing this kind of task, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to interact with a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Then, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your social and relationship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. You will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career. As it is never too late to learn something new, volunteering in charitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is an immense and great way to build up a unique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and discern something you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at.

When we say joining a dancing group, we may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a fun activity to release your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. All human beings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to dance. In every culture and every region, dance is a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. From recent researches and discoveries, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that dancing is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
instinctual, it is
also
a way to stay in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical shape and in high spirits at every stage of life.

Nevertheless
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
giving a
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of attention to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
studies or work. This is
also
a way for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and knowledge, either through letters or consular work.

For me,
instead
of working at my cluttered desk, I would prefer working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the outside world to gain information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Therefore
,
in conclusion
, I would like to invite other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in
Possible spelling mistake found.
extra‐curricular
activities such as volunteering in charitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or joining dance groups that will give you both happiness and knowledge.
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IELTS essay Ways to improve a person’s knowledge and experience

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
298 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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