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The increase in life expectancy in older age work is important to pay for retairment.young age is best to do work. Is the positive or a negative development.

The increase in life expectancy in older age work is important to pay for retairment. young age is best to do work. Is the positive or a negative development. Ap1x3
Getting a job is extremely important to complete their requirements. In this contemporary era, the living expectancy of people is inclined due to the fact that the majority of masses do work in their old age because of retirement, however younger age is best for doing jobs and positive points will be discussed further. To commence with, younger age is suitable for work first and foremost, younger people have more knowledge and experience because they try a lot of time to get jobs which are worthwhile for them. If they start their work in a young age then they show their interest and creativity in jobs. Moreover, satisfaction matters a lot for young ones as compared to money. They would get to know that if they are satisfied with their jobs then life becomes happier plus prosperous. Take an example of Bill Gates. He developed Microsoft Office at a very young age after working hard because of this the computers are used by every person in this era. Henceforth, in the younger age they complete their work with fully attention and get name and fame in the world. On the positive side, there are plenty of merits to do their work at a young age. one approach is that they have a plethora of energy to do any kind of work than older people. Most of the heavy work which is done by youth shows that in old age people do not have enough quality to do this kind of work. Second approach is that by virtue of the advancement of technology, youth have enough knowledge regarding electronic gadgets and it is easy for them to do work whereas older people want enough time to learn it and sometimes they do not learn well. Therefore, the positive points for doing work at a young age have many benefits. To conclude, although older have a lot of needs which they fulfill by doing work and get money, the youngsters have a lot of qualities to do more and they have more energetic.
Getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to complete their requirements. In this contemporary era, the living expectancy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is inclined
due to the fact that the majority of masses do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of retirement,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is best for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points will
be discussed
further
. To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
first
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more knowledge and experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they try a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which are worthwhile for them. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their interest and creativity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Moreover
, satisfaction matters a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones as compared to money. They would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know that if they
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
then life becomes happier plus prosperous. Take an example of Bill Gates. He developed Microsoft Office at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
after working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
because of this
the computers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by every person in this era. Henceforth, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
fully
attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
name and fame in the world. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of merits to do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
approach is that they have a plethora of energy to do any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Most of the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which
is done
by youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
quality to do this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Second approach is that by virtue of the advancement of technology, youth have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge regarding electronic gadgets and it is easy for them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whereas older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to learn it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they do not learn well.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
To conclude
, although older have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of needs which they fulfill by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
money, the youngsters have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of qualities to do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
they have more energetic.
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IELTS essay The increase in life expectancy in older age work is important to pay for retairment. young age is best to do work. Is the positive or a negative development.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
341 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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