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WAYS TO ERADICATE CHILD LABOR

WAYS TO ERADICATE CHILD LABOR Jlpoe
Child labor is a global problem; moreover, it is one of the biggest problems of the world. Therefore, necessary steps must be taken by governments to eliminate this problem. The two most important steps that should be taken by governments to eradicate child labor are reducing poverty and making laws that make it illegal for children to work until they reach a certain age. The first step that should be taken by governments to end child labor is reducing poverty. Poor families send their children to work and earn money to not suffer from poverty. Child labor will be eliminated by reducing poverty due to the fact that families do not need to send their children to work and earn money. The second step that should be taken by governments to eradicate child labor is making laws that make it illegal for children to work until they reach a certain age. In addition to making laws, they should punish workplaces where children work and children’s families. As a result of it, children’s families do not send their children to work due to punishments and even if they try to send them to work, workplaces will reject them because of fines. To sum up, reducing poverty and making laws that make it illegal for children to work until they reach a certain age are the two main steps that should be taken by governments to eliminate child labor. In addition, I hope that necessary steps will be taken by governments and the number of children working as labor will decrease in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
is a global problem;
moreover
, it is one of the biggest problems of the world.
Therefore
, necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to eliminate this problem. The two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
that should
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
are reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it illegal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until they reach a certain age.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
that should
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
is reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn money to not suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
will
be eliminated
by reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn money.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
that should
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to eradicate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it illegal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until they reach a certain age.
In addition
to making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
, they should punish workplaces where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
As a result
of it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
due to punishments and even if they try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, workplaces will reject them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fines.

To sum up, reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it illegal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
until they reach a certain age are the two main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
that should
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
.
In addition
, I hope that necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
will
be taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
working as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
labor
will decrease in the future.
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IELTS essay WAYS TO ERADICATE CHILD LABOR

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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