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In Britain, the old age people are leaving their houses and living with other old people in old age houses as there nurses are available to after them. What do you think government or family should pay for old age houses.

In Britain, the old age people are leaving their houses and living with other old people in old age houses as there nurses are available to after them. What do you think government or family should pay for old age houses. 6NE60
People in Britain are frequently choosing old age houses when they get old as nurses are always available to take care of them, and the government is bearing all the cost. I personally believe that the government shall take all the responsibilty of old age care expenses which is explained with possible reasons in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, bearing all expenses by the government has enormous advantages. First and foremost, since the government imposes taxes througout one's career, it should pay for the old age care. To elaborate, the government has abundance treasures of money as they collect handsome taxes through all working period, the government should favour them back in old age, and they should bear all the expenditures. To exemplify, as per an article published in "The Washington Post" by its chief editor Mr. Benjamin Bradlee penned that government is obliged to pay old age expenses because people contribute alot in paying taxes all the wah their working periods, and they should get some benefits at the end. Furthermore, while family might not be able to provide such healthy treatement due to limited income, government should spent bit of its revenue for taking care old age people. To explain, there is no shadow of doubt that not everyone is privileged with good salary and sometimes, when public has limited income resources, they cannot invest demanded amount of money in taking care of old members of the family and they left remained in caresome situation. Consequently, in order to provide the best looka after with complete care, the governments should pay all old age house expenses. To cite an example, as per the research conducted by Marryland University in US in 2013 on 1000 families revealed that 85% were not capable to take care of their grandparents due to insufficient income, and they deemed that the government should undertake this obligation. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that since old people are preferring old age houses these days, the government should bear all the expenses in taking care of them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in Britain are
frequently
choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
as nurses are always available to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is bearing all the cost. I
personally
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
shall take all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
expenses which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with possible reasons in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, bearing all expenses by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has enormous advantages.
First
and foremost, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
imposes taxes
Possible spelling mistake found.
througout
one's career, it should pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. To elaborate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has abundance treasures of money as they collect handsome taxes through all working period, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
them back in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, and they should bear all the expenditures. To exemplify, as per an article published in
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Washington Post
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
by its chief editor Mr. Benjamin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bradlee
penned that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is obliged
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
expenses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contribute
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
in paying taxes all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
wah
their working periods, and they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Furthermore
, while family might not be able to provide such healthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
treatement
due to limited income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
It seems that an article is missing.
bit
of its revenue for taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, there is no shadow of doubt that not everyone
is privileged
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, when public has limited income resources, they cannot invest demanded amount of money in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
members of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
remained in
Possible spelling mistake found.
caresome
situation.
Consequently
, in order to provide the best
Possible spelling mistake found.
looka
after with complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should pay all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
expenses. To cite an example, as per the research conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marryland
University in US in 2013 on 1000 families revealed that 85% were not capable to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their grandparents due to insufficient income, and they deemed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should undertake this obligation.

To encapsulate, it can
be concluded
that since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The verb 'preferring' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are preferring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
these days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should bear all the expenses in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them.
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IELTS essay In Britain, the old age people are leaving their houses and living with other old people in old age houses as there nurses are available to after them. What do you think government or family should pay for old age houses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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